#152 - Work Day

Well it was a working day today!  I was slow to get going this morning as my alarm didn't ring (hubby was awake but for some reason didn't wake me up?).  I managed to make it to work just in time to open.  It was a really busy day today.  I am glad I am done!

Not to much else going on other than that.  I am busy playing with Adobe photoshop as I am interested in learning how to use it.  I call it using my brain for a change! :)

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- people who show up at the store 3 minutes before it closes... arg 
- sore feet

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- coming home
- cashing out and being 'on'!  LOL

KIDDO NOTES
 
I so miss my monkeys when I am gone all day.  It's not that I can't go a day or two without them.  I do enjoy being away trust me, but I also miss them. 

I think we are going to have to lock up all the matches.  The kids were building pretend fires today (can you tell we have a wood stove in our basement that we use a lot to add some heat to the house).  They take their toys, the wooden ones only (kind of creepy that they figured that out!), put them in the microwave in their kitchen.  I guess it has a door like our wood stove?  They even have a toy with little wood sticks that they use to start the 'fire'.   Great Pyros in training!  Good thing we keep the lighting tools where they can't find them! :)  I can see Boy1 out in the yard one of these days in the future trying to start a fire, god help me! :)

Baby just giggles when I get home, I just love that.  She gets so excited, like she hasn't seen me in months and it was only this morning since I saw her last.

Off I go, hopefully for an early night tonight!

#151 - Healing after Infertility Part 1

So here goes...

My boys are now 3 1/2 and I think that finally I am on the road to recovery from my battle with infertility.  If someone had of told me that someday it would get easier I would have never believed them way back when.  Infertility has robbed me of so much, but now I want to look at the other side.  Yes getting pregnant was difficult, if only you were done with infertility at that point.   Enjoying my pregnancy was almost impossible and trying again was down right scary. 

Reading some of the other blogs of folks who are still in what I like to call the trenches has actually helped me move forward.  I realized that yes I made it through and yes I had those feelings but yes it does get easier with time.  It's funny that my mantra has always been "it gets easier with time", yet during all those years Time just seemed like my enemy. 

I remember the hope I had when we started IVF.  Well it has to work right?  I figured my hormones were out of whack or something because for a short time I felt better.  I waited for 2 weeks believing I was pregnant, I had to be right?  Well I wasn't, it seemed like all hope was gone.  So what did I do?  Why jump back on the train again.  I talked to a nurse who said sometimes people have better luck with Frozen transfers.  So Hope was back again.  Then the next failed cycle.   This is the time of my life I will never forget.  I never remember feeling so incredibly low.  It was like the lights on my world had been turned off.  Devestation was an understatement.  I suppose there are other things that are much worse, but for me it was the lowest point ever.  For me it was the end of my dream to have our children.  I am not sure that I can put these feelings into any kind of words, but if you have been there you know.

At the time I thought it would never change, time was going by, day by day,  I was getting older.  It was also a turning point as I knew I wanted children so incredibly badly that it didn't really matter where they came from.  So I started to investigate adoption.  I had to take control of my life again as I felt I was spinning down a deep dark tunnel.  It was bad, worse then when I found out I had cancer.  So what do I do in the horrible state, sign myself up for another round of IVF, another frozen transfer.  Looking back now I was a total idiot!  What the heck was I thinking?  I just wanted to do one more get it over with and move on to adoption.  Three was my cut off.  I knew I couldn't take any more dissapointment after that. 

For me it was a stupid move but a lucky one.  Who ever thought 3 would be lucky?  Who cares.  I transferred 3 embryos and ended up with 2 healthy twins after a bit of a nasty pregnancy and we won't even talk about my post delivery issues.

At the time it felt like so long from the time we started with IVF.  But really the boys were only on ICE for 6 months.  It  was strange to me how the time felt so much longer. 

Infertility did rob me of some enjoyment through my pregnancy,  I was still new at it though and didn't have a clue about all the things that could go wrong.  (Thank goodness or I really would have worried way more!).  We made it through and here we are.  I new the minute I saw those boys that it was the best thing that ever happened to me and that I wanted more children (ha ha what was I thinking??  Must have been the hormones).  

I really thought that I would just magically be OK after that, that infertility wouldn't matter.  (Again what the heck was I thinking, 11.5 years, there has to be some baggage right?)  I don't know where I got it in my head that I would be OK with all the stuff that happened before, I am not sure why I thought it would all just wash away?  The pain was still all there an very raw.  Heck when we had them it was just past the year anniversary of our first failed IVF cycle. 

I have been trying to put it all behind me for the last 3 or so years and finally I think I am making some breakthroughs.  I think embracing my infertility has helped.  I do believe it has made me a better mom.  I don't think I would have appreciated the craziness so much if it wasn't so hard to achieve parent hood.  I do wish I was much younger though as energy does seem to be a bit of a factor.  I didn't realize how the pain has moved to a different part of my brain.  Yes it's still there but much more distant now.  I can recall it if I want, but it's up to me, it's not just sitting there up front anymore.  I suppose some of it is because my life is so very full now that there isn't room to dwell on it anymore.

Sometimes I have feelings that I don't really understand, but some of the gals out there can put it into words that have helped me work through my journey.  Blog land has been a wonderful place for me to recover, it has also given me hope.  I have moved forward with many others, and some I know will catch up soon.  (If not mother nature is going to get a swift kick from me!)    I sometimes wonder where I fit in, but now I think I know.  Support, Hope and understanding.  That's what I can give back.

IF Survial

I have battled
I have lost
I have cried
I have won
I survived

#150 - Halfway to 300!

Ok so I thought the title was funny, not exactly sure why though?  OK so it's late and and I am just silly.

I have been trying to get my thoughts together for some interesting posts on IF and surviving IF but everything is in a jumble so far.  I think I am at the processing stage and possibly at the point in my life where I can finally take that deep breath and just go on.  More on all this later when I get my proverbial crap together!

Today I got another scrapbook page done!  YEY!  At this rate I may get caught up in 20 years! 

I am anxious to start playing with my new version of Adobe Photoshop that I just purchased. (educational discount, yey, shouldn't have purchased, but I did!  LOL)  Maybe I will get to do a few things yet tonight!

Well I still haven't heard from the mother!  I thought it was a good thing, but I have noticed that I tense up everytime the phone rings.  Not good, really need to let go and just take her for what she is. 

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- Rain in January, come on I live in CANADA Mr Weather Maker!  Snow, freezing cold, etc. that's January.  Not rain!  The roads were horrible on the way home from work tonight, but I didn't hit anything so that is good!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- Baking with the kiddos
- Coming to some realizations about where I am with my feelings about IF (a post on this coming some day I promise!)
- Making it home safely after a bad drive (glad to know that I can still drive on nasty roads without hitting stuff)
- A happy hubby

KIDDO NOTES
Tonight when I went to work I got hugs and kisses from all three. Now that Baby is walking she comes to give me a hug and a kiss, then she natters away.  It is so hard to leave I just want to remember these moments forever.  Her little face smiling at me after I closed the baby gate, her little wave, saying 'goo bye'.  I could just eat her up! 

The kids all helped make some Chocolate Chip Blondie things today!  OMG they are soooo good.  (I didn't have enough butter so I used 1/2 butter and half margarine and I hate nuts so I left them out and put a few more Chocolate chips in).  OMG yummy!  Sheesh I wonder why I am fat!  LOL!  I always put the dry ingredients in a bowl each for the boys to stir and I gave a bowl to baby so she could stir too.  I think she was a little annoyed that I didn't put anything in her bowl (but she would just eat it anyway!)  I had all my igredients on the counter.  The boys stood on one side and I sat Baby on the counter.  They stirred and had a blast and I gave them all some chocolate chips when we were done.  Baby liked those!  These are the moments that I prayed for so long ago when IF was eating me alive.   I am so incredibly lucky to be living my dreams. 

We also spent some time downstairs, we always have to play downstairs too.  (Yey mom gets a bit of scrapbooking in when we are downstairs.)  Now that Baby is not napping in the morning I get a lot less done.  She needs a little more 'help' at things then the boys do.  Today she was angry that I wouldn't let her play on the stairs, I know I am such a bad mom!  Well she was screaming and screaming (great thing she learned from the brothers *sigh*) and just wouldn't shut up.  There was no way I could distract her with toys either.   I wanted to cut some letters for the page I started so I got out my cutting machine, set Baby on the table, let the boys do the cutting and wooola everyone was happy.  It's great that the boys want to help, it accomplishes two things, I spend time with them and I get to work on my scrapbook!  It slows me down when they help but what do I care everybody is happy!

Boy1 was still busy on his phone all day.  When we were done with the Blondies he had to call someone and tell them about what he just did.  It is too funny when he starts his hysterical laughing on the phone!  He is quite the character.

Today was a bit of a Challenge in the morning, who am I kidding it was nasty start to the day!  LOL.  It started with a Boy1 meltdown, then Boy2.  The baking seemed to get everyone back on track again and it gave me some one on one time (sort of) with the boys.  I always try to talk to each of the seperately when we do stuff together to give them each a sense of being a seperate person.  I suppose one day I will find out if it is working or not!

Good Night

#149 - My Opinion - Febreze NOTICEables

Product: Febreze NOTICEables




TESTING NOTES:  I plugged this in the hallway which is on the way to the 'stinky' boys room and near the kitchen.

RESULTS:  Well it has been plugged in for over a month.  I found the scents a little strong at first then they were better.  It may have been because I had them in a plug that was half way up the wall instead of near the floor.  I did like the little light that tells you what side is the current 'smell'.  Kind of nice as a night light.  I still smell it from time to time, so it is 'noticeable' as it says on the box.  I wasn't really keen on the scent that it came with, the lavender didn't smell like I thought it should, the vanilla side was much better though.

I do have two that I plug in from time to time in the kids room and I do like them and they seem to get the diaper 'stink' out!  This is a good thing!

THE BOTTOM LINE:  I wouldn't throw out all my current air fresheners just to replace them with this one but if I needed a  new one I would consider purchasing one of these, probably a different scent though.  (I would like to see the Linen & Sky that regular Febreze comes with, I would be totally addicted then! :) )

#148 - I got nothing!

Well today wasn't too exciting!  I did manage to get a couple of pages worked out in my scrapbook (my hour a day scrapbooking if I can sneak it it! LOL)

I am still feeling a little yucky but I think the worst is passed.  Unfortunately now I am just getting ill from stress.  I am just WAITING for the mother to call so I can find out what I did this time.  Nothing I can say will improve our relationship, nothing I can do can make her see what she does to me, because of course it's all MY fault.   So why, why, why do I let her get to me.  Sh*t I wish I never met the women! 

I still haven't replied to the friend that wants me to do more work on her cards!  Tough noogies!

I did get a copy of the student version (ya to teaching) of Adobe Design.  I am bummed as I still haven't had time to play with it.  A girl needs to sleep ya know!  I want to design scrapbooking paper and embellishments!  It just looks like so much fun.  I haven't a clue what I am doing but I am sure I will figure it out!  Give me time and I shall create!

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- letting the mother get to me
- letting the mother get to me
and letting the mother get to me!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- hubby home early today
- did some scrapbooking this afternoon while the kids were sleeping (when I should have been working! *naughty*)

KIDDO NOTES
Boy1 was on the phone ALL day today.  He was talking to everyone and anyone (not a real phone, not to real people).  It was to funny.  Walking around the house all day with a pretend phone.  He was laughing and nattering and basically never shut up! Weird kid!  LOL

Boy2 has gone backwards with the potty training... oh well tomorrow is another day.

Baby is so busy, she is either entertaining herself or she wants to be held?  What a kid!

It is so nice that hubby is home early!  (I am just not looking forward to the drop in salary that comes with! :) )  Guess that means I need to keep my credit card in my pocket as usual! :)  Not that it is usually a problem, I really don't get out enough apparently! ha ha!

Good night

#147 - Slow day

Well today was another slow day for me.  I am still not feeling the best but it's only a stomach bug so it's really not to big of a deal.  Hubby was home early today so I was able to rest a bit anyway so who can complain?

It is great that hubby has been home early, I am concerned though.  He makes a good wage only because of overtime and I am thinking that overtime may be gone for a very long time.  We need to really tighten our belts here now just to be prepared.  I was hoping it would at least last until I paid for the fixes to the guys car that I hit in January.  My husbands job is related to the oil field so when it slows down it affects him, after hearing that President Obama wants to go green I am even more concerned.  I do believe that we need to go greener, but Rome wasn't built in a day.  Instead of punnishing those that need to change, maybe an incentive to change may be better?  I don't know how to solve the world's problems, I just want my hubby to have work (like many others too!)

I was thinking about my course this weekend and realized something.  I should have done a session on what not to say to folks suffering through infertility.  I had an opportunity to educate and I missed it.  Sheesh why do I think of these things when it's to late.  It's like my brain is in slow motion these days, I hope to get it kicked into high gear soon!

My 'friend' sent me an email the other day.  This is the one that I made a photo Christmas card for, then decided that she wanted a different picture as there was a wicker chair in the background that she didn't like.  Well I never go to doing it (4 days before Christmas she wanted it changed.)  Well she never used it anyway. So whatever.  Well I also put together a birth announcement card (well it was a year of memories card as her daughter turned one in January).  She wanted that done just before Christmas too.  Well the card turned out really nice.  I told her to give me 4 to 6 photos that she wanted to use.  She gave me 50, so I picked.  Well of course she like the card but not the pics.  So now she wants me to fix it.  (Your kid is like 1 get over it and send it out!)  Normally I wouldn't mind making changes but I know she will never use it as it has to be PERFECT.  I am doing this to be nice and I don't have a lot of time to get my own stuff done.  So what does she do, send me an email asking me to finish it.  I already told her no more changes... Sheesh, I really need to get some new friends!  And it's not like she is getting charged for it.  I think her photographer wanted $15 a card.  I think I am going to reply explaining that I have 2 courses to get ready for and a bunch of contract work I need to finish, I am sure she still won't 'get it' though!

I am not sure what I did now, but the mother hasn't called in over a week and a 1/2!  It is bliss, I have to find out what I did to p*ss her off!  She's probably too busy with her sisters family anyway!  LOL

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- my lack of ability to think on my feet!
- my friend that wants me to do stuff for her

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- no calls from the mother
- hubby home early

KIDDO NOTES
Baby is a busy one these days, talking, walking and playing.  Boy1 is in a new phase.  If I touched it, it's mine!  If Baby plays with a toy he has touched in the last 4 days he freaks (doesn't matter that he is not playing with and has Baby's toys).  It's getting a little frustrating but as I have learned this to shall pass!

Baby's morning naps are now a thing of the past, that means no more moring scrapbooking time for mom.  It's just too busy with all three of them running around in the basement.  I have to really keep an eye on her and she does need help with everything.  That's ok I do like to watch her walk around.  It's amazing at how interesting it is to watch someone learning to walk and explore.  The more Baby grows I think she is going to be a lot like Boy1

Boy2 has had a bit of a backslide with potty training, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.  He is such an emotional soul. He is afraid of so much it breaks my heart.  I hope he grows out of it as it will definitely limit his fun in life.  I find it very hard to deal with his moods at times.  I am trying to just let him be when he needs it, but it is so frequent it can be hard to figure out what is the best to do.  Sometimes I get mad at him then I feel bad, I always try to apologize, but I feel like I have failed him somehow. 

I want to treat my children the same, but they all have such different needs, I just hope they all know that I love them all more than they can ever know.

BONDING
I just wanted to talk a bit about my bonding issues.  I feel like I am more bonded to Baby.  Not that I love her anymore or want to be with her anymore.  It just was easier with her.  I was her primary care giver from day one and she wasn't even interested in her father until at least 6 months or so.  When the boys were born I wanted so desperately to bond with both of them.  I felt like they were bonded to their father from birth and that it wasn't as strong with me.  I couldn't take care of them for about 3 weeks so I feel like I missed out on so much.   I think they bonded so easily with their father and I was just the second parent around.  Then after a year I went back to work for a while, maybe that affected things as well?  Now I am with them all the time and I still feel like they are more connected to their Dad.   I don't know if it's just more complicated with two, or it's because those first precious weeks it was all about Dad?  Maybe it's just me?   I just hope they don't feel that I am more connect to Baby then them as I do want the same for all of my kiddos.  If you have any wisdom you could share I would love to hear it.

Good night

Human
pain does not let go of its grip at one point in time. Rather, it works
its way out of our consciousness over time. There is a season of
sadness. A season of anger. A season of tranquility. A season of hope. -Robert Veninga

#146 - Sick and other things

Well I am sick today.  I guess my late nights and busy days have finally caught up with me.  I am so lucky though as my hubby was able to come home at noon today!  I woke up last night due to my stomach boiling.  I kept thinking that I needed to get back to sleep as I had to worry about the kids tomorrow! :)  No one told me Mom's do not get to be sick.

I am starting  to get worried as I have a lot of work to do and I do not have time to be sick.  I have to prep for two MS Excel courses and finish some stuff for my contract. 

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- being sick
- being tired

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- getting a bit of a nap because the hubby was home today

KIDDO NOTES

The kiddos are pretty good days that I am sick.  I suppose they know when Mom is not up to the craziness, thank goodness.  Off I go to rest for a while before bed.  Or at least try to.

"The
appearance of things change according to the emotions and thus we see
magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in
ourselves.— Kahlil Gilbran"

#145 - Course status DONE, Me status DONE!

Well that wasn't fun, I am so glad it's over with.  Well I am glad the course is done, and it's the last one that I need!  Thank goodness for that.  I did meet some great people that I hope to keep in touch with.

My practice teaching didn't go as well as I hoped.  I was to tired, I wasn't inspired by the course and I just wanted to be done.  I got 19 out of 20 in the practice... which really isn't bad, but I got 20/20 on the last two so I was somewhat disappointed in myself.  More importantly I actually learned something from the practice this time, I missed something, that sort of accidentally happened in the last two.  I just wish I would have picked up on it sooner! :)  Oh well I am done!

My house pest (formerly know as the house guest) also left this am so I was happy.  I hope he doesn't come back on the weekend.  I am needing our space back!  It was so nice to have Sunday supper with the family!


THINGS THAT BUG ME
- instructors that do not following the outline
- not doing my best

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- knowing that I learned something from a screw up
- the house pest left the building
- hubby is still in a good mood after spending the entire weekend with the kiddos

KIDDO NOTES

It was a break through day!  Hubby was doing dishes, I was in the 'biffy', I heard boy2 say he had to go potty.  Then Boy1 yelled "Boy2 pooped, Boy2 Stinky".  Then Boy2 yelled "Boy2 pooped".  All by himself, no help from anyone.  We were not even in the room.  So I was disappointed I "missed" the big event.  Hubby went running when Boy1 went and told him the news!  Boy2 was excited!  Lets hope this leads to more of the same!  (Although the thought of cleaning poop out of those little potties seriously makes me want to gag!)  The weird thing is that Boy2 did not do anything in the potty today.  It was a bad day my hubby said, and he usually always does the #1 stuff in the potty.  Strange?  Oh well at least we got the first one done!

This evening I learned that I must be on the computer WAY to much.  The boys pulled out their 'computers' tonight.  (They each have a coil ring book, one  of the pages is blue)  They open their 'computers', the blue page is the screen and they prop it up against a toy or the couch.  They have their own laptops apparently?  Well it started with Boy1 and his computer had a dead battery so he had to plug it in.  Then Boy2 decided that he was going to check his email.  The Boy1 decided to send Mom and email.  Then Boy2 decided to type on his 'computer'.  I was amazed at how he was moving both hands on his 'keyboard'. Then they had a video conference with our friend, then it was time for a picture slide show.  They would bring their 'computers' over to 'show' us the picture.  They would tell us who was in the picture, then back to their spots to do something else.  It was quite comical.  They definately watch what we do that's for sure!

We also had dance night at our house.  We like to keep the TV off, if the kids want to watch TV we say lets put some music on!  So tonight I had my laptop so I got my itunes going and way they went.  BoneyM - Rasputin! 80s music here we come (I am not sure if that was from the 80s persay but that's when I listened to it! ha ha).  Well baby was doing the, I am new to walking thing, wiggling to the music and moving her arms around.  Boy1 was walking around and kind of jerking to the music, weird kid! :)  Boy2 was going crazy, like kids at a Rave I suppose?  They had a blast, we had a giggle, then it was off to bed!

I definately have 3 unique individuals here and I am loving every minute of it!

Good night!

"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair."-Chinese Proverb

#144 - If I hear another quote I am going to barf!

Well only one more day of my course to go!  Thank goodness.   I am really not sure what I am getting out of this one.  The group has gotten together and tried to be more interactive so that we can get more out of it.  No doubt that this guy is a great speaker.  But enough of your quotes, half the time they don't even relate to the topic, If they do I am not sure how?  He finally let up on talking about the book he wrote.  I was going to start counting the times he referenced it but then I got sidetracked!  I think by lunch he finally dropped hints about his book and moved on to the book he is researching (about hope, not really related to what we were discussing).  I think we are driving him just as crazy by interrupting his flow with questions.  At one point he told us to take a half hour and read one of the modules so that we could discuss it.  A) I am taking the class to learn something from YOU.  B) I can read at home (not that I ever find time).  I just found the whole exercise pointless?   Most of the time I don't even know what his topic is. Really good instructor for a train the trainer type of class?  I have no doubt that he knows his stuff, but I sure am not absorbing it.   On another note I have learned some things about me personally,  I will share when I am a little less pressed for time (I need to finish my lesson plan for my practice teaching tomorrow AND I need to get to bed)

Last night was bad!  I was going to bed early then a friend IM'd me.  Well we ended up online until 1am (stupid me, as if I wasn't tired enough already).  I tell you I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  I think I was so overtired it was almost like being drunk!  I was just silly!  We were laughing at each other so hard we were both crying.  We were using the mac app IChat and there is an option to add effects to your video.  Well when you are in a silly mood you can sure have fun with that.  We weren't using the audio, just the video and we were still typing.  I told my friend after that this is what nerds do for fun (well this nerd anyway!)   What I should have been doing is trying to figure out something for my lesson plan, but instead I was making funny faces on my computer!  I am truly losing it!

Well I think I have commented on all the blogs on the ICLW list now, exhale!  If I missed anyone please slap me! (over the computer of course!)  I may have to try to go through the entire list twice just to make sure I didn't miss anyone!


THINGS THAT BUG ME
- paying a lot of money for a course and feeling like I am getting very little practical knowledge out of it
- getting up 3 hours earlier than usual on a Saturday
- not having a 'down' day this week

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- I am almost done my last course that I am required to take!
- Not hearing from my mother for a week (I must really be in the dog house)
- Hugs from Baby (the boys wouldn't hug me when I got home today :( )  complete with the pat on the back

KIDDO NOTES

I hate being away from them all day.  I do miss them, not the noise, but them! :)   I find it much easier to be with them all day then to come home to the craziness at the end of a long tiring day.  They were really good tonight so that is helpful!  I felt kind of bad as I couldn't spend much time with them as I had to get ready for my course tomorrow.  It does make me happy that I was able to quit my full time job as it always seemed to include overtime, I just can't imagine being away that much from the kiddos.  I really don't know how working family's manage everything, my hat's off to you!  I imagine the dynamic will change again when they are in school.  Change ugg, it seems like with kids, just when you get used to the way things are the little monkeys change all the rules on you!  (I suppose that's where it's handy to be able to have kids when you are young as you aren't quite so set in your ways and you can change things up quicker!! LOL OK so I feel like I am 80! HA HA)

So if anything interesting happened today with the kiddos the hubby will tell me in a couple of days when he remembers it! :)  I know how he feels.

We did have Boy1 actually do some #2 'business' on the potty tonight.  I wasn't much but hopefully it's a start.  So I gave him is truck, but I said he has to at least try to do some #1 on the potty tomorrow.  (Boy2 is the one that has been doing all the #1 business so far.  He said he is going to do some 'business tomorrow, time will tell!)  Then there is Baby, apparently someone else's 'business' stink is ok, it's just her 'business' stink that makes her cry.  She was 'inspecting' the buisness tonight (and it wasn't sweet smelling trust me) and there was no tears.  She screams when she is done her 'buisness' and wants off the potty right now!  I guess she already thinks she should smell like a rose, oh great!

Oh why can't they come pre-trained?  (Welcome ICLW'ers my blog is about Potties!  It seems like that's all I talk about these days! :) )

With that, good night!

#143 - Sleepy Girl!

Well I think I am in need of some extra sleep.  I could barely think tonight at the course I am taking.  I didn't like the instructor at first, but warmed up to him as we moved on.  It does drive me crazy that he keeps quoting stuff.  He is a very dynamic speaker so at least he is entertaining.  I think I was confused for the first hour as I wasn't ever sure what we were covering?  I was glad to get our handout of notes before we left.  Wish me luck tomorrow I really need to get it together, it's a small group so being quiet isn't really an option!

I had to pick up the tenant (previously referred to as house guest.  Thanks to Martha for the new name!).  Anyway tenant had a few brews.  I was NOT impressed.  He can't handle any alcohol so 2 or 3 is too much for him.  Loud and annoying, lets just put it that way.  I told him I would NEVER allow him near my house/kids after he has had any booze again.  I am not happy.  If the kids weren't in bed he would not have been welcome.  Talk about pushing the kindness.  I was even trolling for work for him tonight.  So anyway he is supposed to leave Sunday morning.  One can hope!


I have to get organized for my practice teaching on Sunday.  I am not sure when I am going to fit that in as blogging is MUCH more important! 


THINGS THAT BUG ME
- being tired
- not being able to function when I am really tired
- no time for a nap today!
- having to prepare for a practice teaching session with stuff that I will never use and have done before... arg

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- smiles from baby after her nap
- knowing that my last course is going to be done at 3pm Sunday!
- meeting new folks through ICLW

KIDDO NOTES
Just the usual around here today.  Some screaming, some smiling (my favorite part).  Mom got to help build a new 'race track' (train track, but they like to call it the train track).   I only get to HELP now, they have decided that they want to build their own 'race track'.  It's a sad day here.  When we get to the lego stage, mom will have to get her own I think!

Baby was busy today.  She loves to get up on the couch then just sit there proud as punch. 

Today was one of those days where I just look at my kiddos and take them in and think WOW I have a family.  I am so lucky that I made it through to the other side of infertility.  Thank you to the scientists that discovered IVF.  If it wasn't for test tubes I would not be able to enjoy these kiddos (although I am sure there would have been wonderful kids from somewhere else to enjoy).  I am so lucky, and to have boys and a girl I just thank my stars for the opportunity to raise my kids.  I never really understood why I wanted a family so much, but I am sure glad things turned out the way they did.

Wishing everyone still in the grips of IF a wonderful end to their IF journey

Take care

#142 - I could use a nap!

Well for some reason I didn't go to be until 1am last night, then I couldn't sleep because of the wind.  Now I am just plain exhausted.

I did manage to get a few things done for the practice teaching I have to do for my course on the weekend.  Now I just have to finish all the 'other' stuff that goes with it!  Lesson plan, notes, presentation etc!  (Not sure when I am going to do that, sometime between now and sunday I suppose!)

Obsessive me washed the living room/play room floor while the kids were eating lunch, then it was off to do the hallway.  Swiffer wet jet you have created a monster! 

It was off to JOB #1 this evening.  I was concerned about leaving crabby boys with the hubby but apparently they were good for him.  They even went to bed easily for him.  *insert jealous mom here!*    Work was OK tonight, not to busy but lots to ammuse myself with!  I was really tired so it's a good thing it was slow.

Guess what!  The house guest is coming back this weekend!  GREAT!  I have to pick him up after my class tomorrow night and take him back in on Sunday! Well at least we won't have to feed him supper friday too.

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- winter is back  -27 (-16 F) with the windchill today!  Who invited January weather to come back anyway?
- people who cut you off in an 80km zone (turning left into the lane??) then go 60kms the rest of the way... what's your rush dude?
- the number of people still suffering through Infertility... that sucks!
- bloody house guest is coming back again!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- putting my feet up after a shift at work
- a good friend who 'gets it'
- my blog buddies
- the fact that I have visited almost all the blogs on the ICLW blog list for this month!

KIDDO NOTES

I just don't know what is up with my boys these days, fighting, crabbing, screaming, grumping, hitting, toy stealing.  I am just not used to that as they can actually be really good sometimes.  It seems as though they have rolled all the craziness into everyday these days.  Just trying to drive mom crazy.  I usually tell the boys to clean up their toys themselves as mom is not their slave.  So today I asked Boy1 to help clean up his toys he said No Slave do it!  Looks like I have a new roll around here!  :)  (Now I am thinking that Slave probably wasn't the best term to use, not that I meant any disrespect to any person, race, etc.  It was just a word.  Now Boy1 thinks it's a good one, I guess I will have to really start thinking what I am saying as I don't want him saying stuff like that to others!)  What's a mom to do!  :)

Baby is officially 3 days off her soother (or sookie as she calls it).  I just stopped giving it to her one day and that was that.  (I sort of felt bad, I did with the boys as well.  I wonder if it was something they really needed to sleep with, but she seems to be fine so I guess I can stop worrying!)  I imagine she has probably already forgotten about it?

Well the new toys, that are on the counter, seem to have really motivated Boy2 to try to poop.  But nothing yet.  I think he is getting really annoyed that he hasn't gotten one yet.  Hopefully soon.  Boy1 still doesn't care.  I am glad to hear that it takes a while for some boys, it's not just me.  Oh well it will happen when it happens.  Potty training is not for the weak though.  I really need to get a seat that fits on the toilet though as I almost get sick everytime I dump the thing.  Lets just say I have potty issues.  I would rather change a diaper for some reason?  Mornings are the worst YUCK!  I think that I still sufffer from morning sickness that I had when I was PG, it seems to like me so it just stayed.  Some mornings are awful, I don't get it!  

To bed I should go since it's going to be a busy day!

#141 - Hello ICLW'ers!

Welcome to those visiting from ICLW!

A little about me, the short version.  Married 14 years, took us 11.5 years, IVF and 3 transfers to get PG the first time.  We were lucky enough to have twins.  Right from the moment I saw them I knew I wanted to have more.  A couple more frozen transfers and another round of IVF and we were PG with twins again.   Sadly shortly after seeing the heartbeat of our two babies we lost one, we did manage to go on and have one healthy little girl.  We still have some frozen embies, but the hubby says we are done.  I quit my career to stay home with the kids and I am currently working way to many part time jobs (got to pay for the IVF bills right?)  So this is my life after years of infertility.  I am still trying to figure out who I am, hanging out with all the fertile people who have kids.

With three kids 3 and under I just take it a day at a time!


Back to my regularily scheduled program!

Today I was back cleaning my floors (I am truly obsessed!)

I had a doctors appointment today.  I had to refill a prescription.  My old doctor moved so I was 'trying out' the new one.  She is OK but definitely not my old doctor.  I totally hate breaking in new doctors.  They don't know you, where you have been, what you have been through.  It just sucks.  We had a bit of a chat.  Of course there was some talk of infertility.  She of course assumed that I had PCOS as I am a little on the chunky side.  That really ticked me off.  A doctor should never assume anything.  She wondered what our dx was... I told her we suffered from Unexplained IF and that was it.  Then off she went, guess my time was up.  I did get a moment to talk to her about my leg pain.   Years ago it was dx as sciatica nerve pain.  Then I was told it wasn't, now apparently it is again!   Who the frickin heck knows, all I know is that it keeps me up at night! Guess I will be contacting dr. google for some advice!

Tonight I was busy trying to get ready for my practice teaching on Sunday.  It will be my third one, I will be using part of one I have done before as I just do not have it in me to start from scratch again!

Now I need to go get some work done for one of my contracts that I am working on and hey it is only 10pm!

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- loosing a great doc
- being so busy
- wishing I was better at potty training
- LOST - who can figure that show out?  Sheesh... I am watching last seasons finale again just to get caught up before I start again!  I wonder if it will ever make sense.  I have a strange feeling that this will end with a pile of questions!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- getting through a bad day with the kiddos and keeping my cool! Yey
- my DVR, how else would I ever get to watch anything
- my kids train table, I love to build new tracks for them!  When I went to the doc today I picked up a small expansion pack so I could get the tracks connected the way I wanted to!  LOL

KIDDO NOTES

Oh my, Boy2 was hitting Boy1 today.  He gets mad and starts going crazy on the poor kid.  Then the screaming started.  Boy2 was screaming because he was in trouble, Boy1 was screaming because Boy2 hit him and Baby was screaming because everyone else was.  So deep breath, then a talking to to Boy2 and then to his bedroom to calm down.  Hugs for Boy1 then get Baby ready for her nap.  Utter Chaos!  But I made it through!

After a calming session it was downstairs to play for a while.  Only a few toy fights, thank goodness... I had my computer and did some ICLW commenting, and finished off a scrapbooking page.  I had to make sure that Mrs Spider was not on Treehouse or the boys would freak.  They are afraid of the grey spider on the show.

When I left to go to the Dr.  Baby was holding on for dear life, she did not want to let go of me.  Boy2 was crying and Boy1 was giving me hugs!  I was back just as they got up from their naps.  I made a stop at the local toy store to buy some Potty bribery toys.  I do not just go buy toys very often, pretty much only for birthdays and Christmas so this was kind of fun.  I spent WAY to much, but if it works it will be worth it.  It would have been much cheaper if I wasn't trying to train twins as I had to buy 2 of everything!  I bought them each a Percy Train and the set of 2 dump trucks (one each) and a toy bunny figure and a puppy.  I told them I got them something if they did the #2 business in the potty.  Then showed them the toys.  Boy2 was jumping up and down and headed right to the potty.  He did not manage a #2 but I think it may just work for him.  Boy1 just does not give a crap.  He did show some interest but I still haven't figured out what will get that kid on the potty!

Tonight was yet another nasty bed time.  I am really at my wits end.  One of them is usually freaking out, then when we get one calmed down another one starts and so on and so on.  I really hope this is a phase that will pass very soon.  It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong as a parent, not enough attention, not enough one on one time?  To busy I dunno.  I just feel like I need to find a way to do better.

With that, good night

#140 - Another day, all gone!

Today was a good day, house guest free and no calls from the mother!  What more can a girl ask for?  (Good kids possibly!  LOL!)

I managed to get two pages done in my scrapbook this morning, got some floors cleaned and this evening after the kiddos went to bed it was time to work for about 2 hrs! 

I must have the most boring blog ever!  I never go anywhere or do anything exciting!  Good thing my kids are interesting! :)

Oh yes and my husband thinks I am obsessed.  I suppose you are wondering what I am obsessed about?  Well the floors, to be exact clean floors!  I am not sure if it is this house or what but I can't seem to get the floors to stay clean.  I have started trying to clean them every few days or so (it's and experiment I am not planning on doing it forever)  It's driving me crazy I can't seem to get them clean.  I am thinking that there is a difference between laminate flooring and the hardwood we had in our old house.   Our floors were never that dirty in the old place.   We had the kids there too so that's not it.  I am wondering if vacuuming worked better on the hardwood, or it cleaned them better or something.  Our hardwood had a shiny surface, maybe a bit smoother I am thinking?  The laminate here was the cheapest stuff we could find (cause we are not planning on keeping it forever) and it does not have a smooth finish.  I am thinking the dirt sticks to it and vacuuming does not clean it up as well as the old stuff?  I dunno. But it is driving me crazy.  I hate it when the bottom of the socks are looking dirty!  We never wear our shoes in the house either so I don't get it!  It's winter where the heck does all the dirt come from, I swear this house ooozes dirt!

THINGS THAT BUG ME
-dirty floors
-the weird key board characters on my MAC when I am running vista!  The ' and the ? are not in the right place!
-bed time with the boys!  the are horrible to put to bed, screaming and yelling and procrastinating... Any ideas please let me know!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
-creating (scrap books, websites... etc!)
-baby girl, she is so good.  It truly is a different experience to have one at a time.  I am really enjoying it!

KIDDO NOTES
Well I knew it was off to a bad start this morning Boy2 was in a good mood when he got up, that meant that he had nowhere to go but downhill!  Unfortunately I was right, he ended up being quite grumpy today.  Which included hitting Boy1 on the head with a toy at nap time and giving him a goose egg.  Sheesh little turkey.  He is really frustrated these days, I wish I could figure out why! 

Boy1 is way to busy yelling these days.  He wants a toy he screams, baby takes a toy he's not playing with he screams, Boy2 looks at one of his toys... you guessed it he screams.  He is back to his constipated self again, so he screams when he has to poop too!  Poor little guy!  Lets hope all the prune juice I gave him today helps out!

Baby... she either wants me to hold her or she's off doing her own thing.  I am amazed at how well she plays on her own.  I am surprised she isn't really grumpy as she is cutting her 4 eye teeth (at least I think that's what they are called).  Anyway 2 on the top and 2 on the bottom!  I am just enjoying watching her grow so much right now.  I am so glad that I am home and able to watch her grow and change.  It makes me just want another one every day!  (Although I could do with out the crying and screaming part that the older fellas seem to be attached to right now! LOL)

We are still potty training around here... Boy2 is doing well except with #2.  Baby asks to go, but usually after she has gone already!  Boy1 is not interested at all!  I am busy enough with trying to get Boy2 doing 'the business' in the potty, so I think I will hold off on Boy1 for a little while. My incentive is LESS diapers to change!  It will be great when they are all trained!  (If I keep saying that I will make it through! LOL)

Good night

#139 - Monday again? Wow time flies

Time seems to be getting eaten by the clock around here... when I find out which clock it is I am getting that sucker out of this house!

Well the house guest left today.  Hubby had to drive him to his sisters.  (Hmm I wonder why he can't stay there every now and again?) It was good to have him here today as the kids are always pretty good when someone else is around.  I do need my house back, I am sure it will only be for a couple of days but I will take it.  It feels like the house guest is getting a little to comfortable here now, he must think we are made of money or something.  I suppose compared to him we are looking pretty sweet in the money department.  Sheesh after 2 full rounds of IVF and 4 frozen cycles our savings is pretty much shot.  Now that I am not working full time we really have to watch our money and having an extra full size mouth to feed is not exactly in my budget.  Ugg!   I am just hoping he gets a job this week so that I know he won't be here for a while, other wise he will be here for a minimum of 6 weeks, probably every weekend.  It is driving me crazy to feel so invaded but I just can't bring myself to kick him out as he doesn't have anywhere to go except back to the streets.   He is in a bad position and we are in a bad position.  I just keep thinking it may be driving me crazy but at least it's some kind of good deed???

The mother was being a hag again today.  She phoned and said she may try driving out (it was summer driving conditions today).  I was so mad that I didn't answer the phone.  I figured I didn't need the aggravation and I had already told them I couldn't make the meeting anyway.  I really need to get to the point that I can just ignore her.  I am going to start looking for a real babysitter soon.   It was interesting that Carrie27 said that she wasn't coming over to babysit, she was coming over to see her grand kids.  That's the thing with my mother, it's babysitting and she tells everyone how much she does for us!  That's really what drives me crazy!  Everyone that she talks to thinks she does SO much! 

Well I got a call from job 3 today.  It wasn't for more work (bummer), he just had a question. Fortunately (unfortunately for me) I did such a good job on fixing up their system that it doesn't break anymore!    So what I am doing... started working on another contract last night.  Yey more work, I seriously need the cash (gotta pay for that little fender bender I was in on the 4th).  It's a small job but hopefully it will continue to lead to more work!  I am building a small access database for someone.  I love the small projects it's always fun!  It's been a couple of years since I programmed in access so it's giving my brain a workout!  Which is good!

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- parents that think they can treat their kids however they want and the kids have to put up with it
- house guests that are getting to comfortable in MY house!
- potty training/poop/pee etc!
- still mornings!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- solving a programming problem (I think it makes me feel smart!  LOL)
- making supper for hubby and him liking it and saying how good it was (I don't cook very well/often so I think it was just good because he didn't have to cook it!)
- a break from the house guest
- watching baby walk around the house

KIDDO NOTES
Well it was not a great potty training day here.  Boy2 will not poop in the potty so it was training pants fill up day!  I will be sooooo glad when they are all trained!

The kids were pretty good today!  Just the usual, I want the toy you have screaming match.  But other than that it was all good!  Baby is amazing to play on her own.  I just watch her some days, just to see what she is going to do.  Today she was playing with her doll house and put one chair on top of the other, in the window?  Then the beside table was on the railing for the stairs, as was the kitchen table?  She is obsessed with stairs.  I have to watch her as she climbs on anything and stands up and says 'stairs'.  Today it was the little chair in her bedroom, last night it was the large stuffed froggy in the boys room.  I guess since I don't let her play on the stairs she has to find her own!  (I remember when Boy2 was obsesessed with the stairs, it seems like so long ago now!) 

Every few days the boys want me to re-do the track on their train table, I really need to get some more pieces!  (I - ha ha)  It's driving me crazy that when you use some of the pieces that the track doesn't line up the right way, I need a conversion pack so I can build cooler tracks!  Right now they just like to run their trains/cars/dinosaurs/whatever on the tracks, so I get to do the track design.  It's so going to suck when they take over the building! LOL!  I love spending time doing this with them.  Boy1 always tries to find pieces (he can't find toys in front of him but he always seems to find pieces that I couldn't find!), Boy2 is the track tester.  He just tells me to hurry up, apparently he doesn't like dead ends!   I am so going to hate it when they go to school!  I am going to miss so much time with them.  :(  I am already dreading it!

Special times with the boys or watching baby learn to walk and talk and discover are things I could have never imagined during all the years of 'trying'.  I am so very lucky to be able to experience all of this.  I just wish it wouldn't go by so incredibly fast!

Good night! I am excited to see history unfold tomorrow in the US

#138 - Wait! Stop! Give me back my weekend!

Wow this weekend just flew by!  These one day weekends with my hubby really suck!  I thought it would be easier to have a part time job when hubby was home to look after the kids, but I guess it isn't all it's cracked up to be.  I feel guilty going off to work one day a weekend but I am with the Kiddos all week so it's not as if I am abandoning them every day, so why does it feel that way?

It was a lovely day here... 8 degrees above freezing.  I was outside with my coat undone, and I really wanted to take it off as the sun was so warm!  It was a great morning to be outside!  I was going to scrapbook this after noon but all the fresh air led me to have a nap with the kiddos.

I have a meeting tomorrow where I teach.  I asked my mom a while ago if she would come watch the kiddos for 2 hours for me.  She said it depended on the roads.  Well I waited all day for her to call, NOTHING.  So I decided to call her (bad idea).  Not an effing word about tomorrow.  The roads are like summer driving, and it's not like we live in the boonies either.  It's supposed to be sunny and another warm one tomorrow, so there is no chance of a winter storm.  Well she decided that she won't drive in the winter now.  (doesn't matter what the road conditions are apparently.  seriously it doesn't get any better than this in the summer either!)  I told her it's like summer driving out there... she said she doesn't drive in the winter  (I guess this is her new thing, along with the breathing issues???).  So I said I guess I need to find another babysitter... she agreed.  So now IF I can find someone there goes half my wage now.  She said she would help me in the summer (lot of good that does A) I don't teach in the summer and B) she is to busy in the summer camping)  One effing day this month I asked her to come over for 2 hours and she does this!  She is the biggest spoiled baby I have ever met!  I really want to cut this woman out of my life, if only it was that easy!

House guest is still here... hopefully leaving for the week on Tuesday.

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- talking to my mother Sunday night
- my ucky house
- my house guest, and he's not even that annoying... what is wrong with me?

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- a good friend that 'gets it'
- spending the day with my family

KIDDO NOTES
Well Baby doesn't like the house guest that much... so why does she say hi to him all day then?  I guess she likes the sound of his name?  She has learned Holly Mole-y (dad-ism) and likes that one too.  She is bound and determined to Hop these days.  She still isn't the greatest walking but she wants to hop and run!  She used to hop on one foot and keep the other one firmly planted on the ground, she would go around in a circle & hop!  Now she has graduated to two feet.  It's funny to watch her try and she will only do it on carpet, in case she falls I suppose. 

Dad asks her if she is his Sweetie Pie, she says "YES".  I think she will figure out how to work the system at an early age! :)  After her bath tonight I was sitting watching her walk around, with her cute pink housecoat with butterfly wings on the back (awww).  Well anyway I was sitting in amazement looking at this little creature learning to walk.  There is nothing like watching a child grow and learn new things.  I remember when the boys started walking, I still couldn't believe they were in our life, now that old feeling is coming back.  She is a little person now, walking, talking (and talking and talking and talking...) so much for my little baby.

Boy2 is doing well on the potty, except the Poop part.  He sits there and repeats "Poop coming out" over and over and over and over, but nothing happens.  Hopefully soon he will get the hang of it!  I hung a hotwheels car beside his 'star' and his brothers 'star' chart.  I said when they poop they can have their car.  I am hoping that provides some incentive to the two of them.  I keep asking Boy1 what I need to do to get him to pee in the potty.  (Blank stare.... not quite comprehending the words mom is throwing at him!  LOL)  Then he decided a gummy bear would be good, but no luck!

Poor Boy1 today, he got the brunt of moms lack of coordination. First he was in the snow, screaming because he couldn't move around (waist deep for him).  So I picked him up to take him back to the path we plowed, he didn't like that either and started squirming.  Well all the squirming led to mom accidently dropping him in the snow, he was NOT happy with me.  I picked him up, apologized and gave him a big hug.  (the neighbours are going to think we are beating the kids for sure now!)  A while later I was playing with the boys and throwing snow at them.  No problem right!  Well I missed and accidently filled the poor kids ear with snow!  More hugs from mom and appologies, then there was no more playing for mom, I was afraid I may burry one in the snow by accident!  Sheesh and I wasn't even mad at him either! Well if he has snow issues when he grows up, I will no why! :)  (Karma's a b*tch anyway, it got me back for the dropping.  I went to start the skido and went flying into hard packed snow, instant headache and sore neck!  LOL!)

Good night!

#137 - Another day in the trenches!

Well today was a work day!  It was exhausting today, it was really busy.  I also spent some time, in between customers, setting up our printer so that it was available from all the computers in the store.  I also setup a shared directory for copying files between all the computers too.  It was driving me crazy that nothing was networked and you needed a memory stick to copy files between computers, or to print documents!!  Sheesh.  I also got to play with our scanner.  It is awesome, you can scan a 12 * 24 page on that thing!  Schweet for those of us who love technology!

I do like working there but I am finding it really difficult not being home 2 full days with my hubby a week.  We only seem to ever get one day if we are lucky! It's good in theory to work when the hubby is home, but the practicality of it is not the greatest!  (Especially when you are trying to clean up and nasty old house!)

It was nice to come home to supper ready!  My hubby rocks (when he wants to!) 

We had an unexpected visitor tonight... my parents (the mother that was deathly ill yesterday was out sledding (snowmobiling) all day).  Oh yes and apparently she was well enough to go out last night to a cousin's daughter's hockey game.  Yup time enough for the sister's kids but they show up here, unannounced, 10 minutes before we put our kids to bed.  Then they have the nerve to say that they didn't realize the time.  Oh yes then I got to hear all about what a wonderful day they had and how we should go out.  What are we supposed to store the kiddos in the trunk when we go, hmmm let me see, 3 kids, 2 sleds...  Maybe we are supposed to swallow the kids whole and poop them out later when we are done!   Boy1 is terrified of the skidoo's anyway, I told the mother that, and she told me that he would be fine.  (Cause they know my kids better than I do right!)

On to a totally different subject!
Thanks to DD at TKO I found something I need to get!

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- still the house guest!
- missing a whole day with the kiddos :(

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- the greeting the kiddos give me when I get home from work

KIDDO NOTES
Unfortunately I didn't get much time to spend with the monkeys today!   Hubby had the kids outside this morning.  They had a great time outside apparently, I missed it all :(.

I am not sure about that Boy2 though,  he was so excited when grandma and grandpa got here that he wanted them to know he went potty so they were greated at the door with a boy with his pants around his ankles... just getting ready to go potty!  Apparently he isn't as prudish as his mother.  Of course I am trying to explain to him, without making it sound like a bad thing, that he should keep his pants on until he is going to go potty!   I hope he never becomes a Walmart greeter, he may get arrested! :)

Baby was all clingy to mom when I got home.  I do love her clingy moments (when I am not busy trying to get something done! :) )

Good night!

#136 - Friday!

It's Friday!  Yipee!  I think?  Since I have to work tomorrow!  Lucky us we have our house guest this weekend.  Our homeless friend.  He actually had a home for a couple of months, then unfortunately he was laid off.   He spent his week trying to get temp work and find a job, living down town (yikes).  I really feel for the guy, but he kind of invited himself this weekend.  I really don't know what to do.  I don't want to kick the guy out, so I am just praying that he finds a full time job VERY soon.  He has managed to kick a drug habit so I hope he gets cut some slack soon in the job department.  (The extra benefit is of course for us! So really I guess it's about me! :) )  I am just very uncomfortable when he is here.  He does try to help out where he can which is nice. 

I DE-Christmased this evening!  I am happy to have all our decorations put away (although if it's like other years, I am sure I forgot something!)  I also managed to put everything back in one less storage container?  Not sure how that happened but I am glad that I am finding more space!

Bittersweet, I sold my 2 baby car seats this week. So glad to get them out of the house and get a little cash however I really wish I could have used one of them one more time.  This means I get to get rid of one more car seat box too!  More room in the storage area.

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- feeling like I have no choice but to have a house guest
- not having enough money (I know we are never happy no matter what we have right!)
- hope the house guest doesn't get up at 3am to go out for a smoke (and wake me up) tonight
- what's up with the 10cents a litre jump at the gas pumps... oil is low right now?

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- getting the Xmas decorations cleaned up!
- making it through another week with the kiddos! :)
- hearing that everyone made it out safely after the plane crash on the hudson river! (I want that pilot flying my plane!)

KIDDO NOTES
It was a bit challenging around here today.  Boy1 was in his, if Boy2 has it I want it mood today!  There was a lot of yelling and screaming by the boys today.  Boy1 has a bit of a temper and he is stubborn too.(mom looks away... I guess my genes are the issue here! :) )   Boy2 will go to his room, and scream, until he calms down.  Thank goodness that he will stay in his room to calm down, or I may go crazy!  They were good for an hour this morning when Baby was napping, so I took advantage and got some scrapbooking done!  :)  (At this rate, one page per day, I will never get caught up!  LOL!)

Baby was really good today!  She is my little monkey!  She plays so well on her own, she also loves to drive her brother's crazy.  Boy1 was chasing her around giving her hugs today.  She just giggles and plays along.  He also likes to 'tease' her with a toy just to get her to chase him around! (We are working on the NO teasing around here, but it's not going so well.  Where do they learn this stuff?)  I must admit it is funny to watch her say his name and chase him around the house!  So far we have managed to keep her from climbing in her doll house again.  She is sticking to the couches these days! 

The boys were some kind of loud today.  They just don't like to talk quietly!  My hubby and I weren't sure if they were louder than usual or it was just us?  I sent them on a hunt to find any Xmas decorations I have missed, but they just yelled from other rooms!  It was nice once they were in bed, peace and quiet! 

After the years of IF, I used to hate peace and quiet.  I always thought the quiet was a nasty reminder of what should be there.  I was a reminder there were no children in our house.   I do love that our house is full of kiddo noises all day now.  I do enjoy the few hours of peace when they are sleeping, finally I like peace and quiet.  Thanks kiddos for giving me back my peace and quiet.  Hugs from mom!

Good night

#135 - My Opinion!

PRODUCT: Swiffer Wet Jet



TESTING NOTES: Tried this product on ceramic tile and laminate. (I don't have any lino in this house).  I was interested by the picture on the box of the clean socks vs. the dirty socks on a floor that was washed with a mop.  So I had to was my floor with a mop first then wash it with my Swiffer Wet Jet.  I just had to see what was left behind!

RESULTS: OK so I am totally grossed out with what the Wet Jet picked up AFTER I mopped the floors (and let them dry).  Gross!  I also tried a dirty floor going over twice with the Wet Jet just to see what was left behind!  The mop pad was pretty close to clean the second time so it definitely does clean better than the old mop and bucket.  (My hubby wanted to hand wash the floor first then swiffer after, but we haven't tried that just yet.  I will post an update when we get around to it!)  I did find there was a bit of streaking on my laminate but compared to the mop and bucket you could barely see it.  With a mop there was large streaks left on my floor!  I only used the all purpose cleaner and that seems to do the trick on the laminate, and it smells nice too!  Oh yes and the scrubber on the wet jet worked great on some mystery substance that was stuck to my floor, I couldn't get it off with my mop.

THE BOTTOM LINE: I will be cleaning my floors with a Wet Jet from now on!  I can even do it with a toddler hanging off my hip so that's even better!

P.S. If you are Canadian and living in Canada and would like to review some products (no strings/no cost) please let me know (via email) and I will give you the scoop and pass you information on to my contact!

#134 - I missed a day? What was I thinking!

I can't believe that I never got around to blogging yesterday?  What was I thinking! :)

So I have been keeping busy.  A bit of scrapbooking, a bit of computer stuff.  Looking to see if I want Adobe Photoshop or Elements.  Trying to setup a website instead of using ETSY.  I just haven't had much success with ETSY so I thought I would go it alone!  Of course I am trying to find the cheapest way possible to setup a site.  In the process I decided I need Photoshop or Elements, because a) I need more stuff to do and b)I have so much money to spend (NOT)  LOL!

I just am never happy with 'packaged' software etc.  I always have to add my own spin, cause I have so much extra time!  HA HA!

(I just had to run to the boys room Boy1 just fell out of bed!  Poor kid probably fell asleep sitting up then fell over! :) )

Where did this week go?  I can't believe it's Friday!

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- not enough time to scrapbook
- not enough time to learn new computer 'stuff'
- not enough time!!!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- watching baby walk around (that sort of makes me sad too!)
- hugs in the morning for the kiddos!

KIDDO NOTES
Baby was so darn cute today.  She was walking around before I went to work and she followed me to the back door.  She was blowing me kisses and chatting away.  It was just to cute for words!  I am so lucky to have her and her brothers, I just thank my lucky stars every day!

Boy1 managed to pee in the potty today!  YEY!  Boy2 is doing really well.. and Baby wants to try too!  Potty training 3 at once, not recommended.  I don't know how Kate from John and Kate managed to do her sextuplets!  I feel like I am in the bathroom 5000 times a day!

Pretty much our life revolves around the potty!  Not my idea of a great place to spend time!  I just keep telling myself I will be SO happy when they are all trained!

The boys have been really good this week.  They have been really fun to 'hang out with' this week. 

Good night

#133 - Sleepy!

I am a little tired today sooo I am going to try to get to bed early tonight.  We will see how that plan goes I suppose!

I hate when I get all stressed.  I don't sleep well and I am not very productive! Drives me crazy when I am not productive!  I did manage to do a bit of scrap booking today.  I love my new slice!

I also had a little nap with the kids this afternoon!  Hopefully recharging my batteries will do me some good soon!

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- feeling stressed
- napping in the afternoon when I could be doing something.  Such as putting Christmas Decorations away!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- my new slice!  Cuts great titles for my scrapbook pages.  Although I need to load up by Cricut design studio so I can weld letters (I bet I will like that even more! :) )
- Silly Baby, she is obsessed with going around in only her diaper!  I am not sure where she gets this from?  I put a shirt on her today, (well I thought it was a shirt, but turns out it's a dress! LOL) to try to keep part of her covered.  It's 20 freaking below outside, it's not exactly a hot summer day in this house!  Strange Little monkey
- loving those Cascade all in ones!  I barely have to pre-rinse anything!  I never thought I would see that day with this crappy dishwasher!

KIDDO NOTES
It was a pretty routine day today.  Not to much new!

Baby was busy being baby.  Taking what she wants when she wants it and screeching when she doesn't get what she wants!  She was also busy trying to pull her clothes off all day?  I think she likes the sleepers off so she can get more traction, but I am not sure about the shirt thing?

Boy2 finally cleaned out the bowel today, too bad it was in his pull ups instead of the potty.  He is doing really well with Number 1 though so I am happy that is going well.  I was glad to see he got some of the 'other stuff' out though as I think it is starting to get uncomfy for him.

Boy1 was being an evil child today!  Boy2 is afraid of Spiderus (sp??) on Mrs. Spider (on treehouse).  No he's not afraid, he is terrified.  The minute the music comes on for the show Boy2 is screaming to turn it off!  Well I didn't get it off right away and of course the scary spider was on TV.  Boy2 wasn't watching, so what does Boy1 do?  Boy1 says "Boy2 look, look at the TV Boy2"!  Well the screaming started.  Boy2 was scared to death!  Poor little fella.  What a turkey that Boy1 is!   He started screaming shortly after too so I am not sure what that was about?  Maybe he felt bad about scaring his brother after all?

Sleeping Habbits...
When the boys were about 2 supper time became a NIGHTMARE around here.  They would scream EVERY night.  It used to drive us crazy!  So finally the screaming stopped (took about a year and us dumb parents realizing that they wanted to sit at the table!).  We were happy for that.  Then we took the boys out of their cribs and put them in Toddler beds - nightmare back again.  I do not like bed time at all, especially the SCREAMING!  They stay in bed but trying to get them to stop crying/complaining etc is a pain.   When the boys were in their cribs we would put them down, they would fuss a little, then when the door was shut, not a peep.  I thought we had instilled good bed time habbits when they were smaller, I long for those days to come back!  I miss the quite the moment the door was shut.  Baby is really good right now, but I am dreading putting her into a toddler bed one day! :)

Good night!

#132 - Needing some space!

Well today I went to my monthly card club.  Unfortunately my mother goes to the same one.  I am not going again just for that reason.  Tonight was SPECIAL!  She showed up and I could tell from the look on her face that it was going to be a good one.  She sits down, with a snit on her face, starts working.  A few minutes later she says she is just going to sit and watch.  She is having problems breathing so she couldn't do anything.  (One of the gals is a nurse so she asked mom if she had Asthma, mom said no.  (That's not what mom told me), then she asked her a few more things.  My mom was squirming!  It was at least entertaining for me!  She is so full of sh*t!  All she wants is attention!)  So she sat there and made sigh noises every now and again!  Oh yes then there is a cough that she remembers to do when she thinks of it.  (My kids can fake cough better than that).   After I had the boys I had some issues after and ever since then she has breathing issues.  She said it was from the air outside.  (She went ski doing all day Saturday and was fine though??)  I guess her mom never told her the story of the boy who cried wolfe! 

One more thing I will never forgive my mother for. 
- Ruining our last weekend with the boys before we had Baby.  She was screaming at me on the phone on the Saturday before I had her.  This is what I needed.  She was mad because she was trying to plan the child care for my boys when I went into the hospital.  Long story.  But anyway it ruined our weekend as I was so upset.  My husband took the phone away from me as she was screaming at me.   It ended up that my hubby, who was going to stay the first night with baby and I, ended up going home in time to feed the boys supper and put them to bed.  I really wanted this time for the three of us because I knew it would not be the same again.  I ended up in the hospital mostly by myself for the 4 days.  One friend came to visit and that was it.  I think Mom must have told the rest of the family not to come.   I was so sad that almost none came to see Baby.  I felt very alone, but I did take every moment I could with her at least.

THINGS THAT TICK ME OFF
- people who try to make everyone as miserable as they are
- when my house guest cleans out the stash of potty training gummy bears and doesn't tell me!
- when my house guest breaks my scrap booking chair and doesn't tell me
- feeling guilty about the house guest not having any money and needing to stay in a hostel until he finds another job.  (he had a drug addiction and is trying to stay clean and get his life back on track)

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- a good day potty training
- a day with minimal whining
- a day where I actually got a couple scrapbook pages done!
- no more house guest!

KIDDO NOTES
It was tea party day!  Boy2 was busy pouring tea for mom!  Good thing it was pretend or I would have been in the bathroom all day.  There was a lot of tea poured, I even got a bun!  Boy1 is a little stingy, he keeps the tea pot to himself (thank goodness we have two, baby got one for Christmas).  I was allowed a sip from Boy1's cup but he wouldn't pour me any in my cup!  Sometimes I wonder where they get this stuff from?  While we were busy with the Tea, Baby was busy crawling and climbing on stuff.  She was playing with her doll house then the boys said "Baby NO".  I turned around and there Baby was squished into the second story of her doll house!  Of course I went to get the camera before dragging her out screaming.  She was relentless in trying to get back onto the second floor.  I finally managed to get her to play with her Dolly instead.  I guess she wanted to climb today!

She was in the doll house in her diaper only!  At lunch I spilled my water all over Boy2.  So I took his shirt and pants off.  Well Baby decided to do the same.  She was trying to get her sleeper off and was some p-oed that I wasn't helping her.  I tried to get her to put it on but there was no changing that girls mind.  So Boy2 and Baby were hanging out in their diapers today!  (At nap time I did manged to get them all dressed again!  What a bunch!)

Boy2 is doing really well (wait let me find some wood to touch) in the pee in the potty department.  He doesn't always make it through the night, but I wouldn't expect him to just yet.  Boy1 screams at the mention of the potty still, so I am waiting it out a bit.  Man I do enough trips to dump Pee anyway so I can wait a bit!  Baby is starting to ask to use the potty when she has to poop some times it's to late but I think she is getting the idea.  I am concerned about Boy2 though as he hasn't had a BM since using the potty regularly, I hope he doesn't hold it in to long.  Yessh!

Anyway off to bed I go!

#131 - Just Plain Angry!

I am so incredibly disgusted with my mother. She spent YEARS telling everyone that would listen that she didn't have any grandkids - poor her! Now she has them and what does she do? Go spend time with her sisters grandkids. I guess my kids just aren't good enough, we have the wrong last name I guess!

So Friday night we gave away our hockey tickets as she was DEATHLY ill on Wednesday so we gave them away Thursday (so they didn't go to waste). So Thursday she is all healed and goes to her sisters. She gave me crap for giving the tickets away (what the heck was I supposed to do, wait till 10 minutes before the game for her to decide if she was sick or not?). She said her and Dad were coming over bla bla bla. Of course it was all MY fault! So I said to her well you can still come and me and the hubby can go out for dinner. Do you know what she did? Laugh. She effing laughed at me and moved on to talking about going sledding (ski doing) this weekend.

So I had to work on Saturday, they show up here to get their skido's, when the kids are napping of course. They spent Saturday morning with her sisters family, got the skido's, then went back into the city to watch hockey, 2 different games with two different grandkids (of her sisters). Did they come and see their grandkids? No, when's the last time they saw there grandkids? Christmas I think! When is the last time she saw her sisters family? Thursday night. Unbelievable.

So Mom called to tell me all about her wonderful day sledding (since they bought them all she did was wine and complain that Dad wanted them and she didn't). So I said did you have fun with "insert sisters family name here" on Saturday (in a sarcastic tone). I don't think she listens to anything I say. So she starts going on and on and on about how much fun they had. I told her that maybe we should put our kids in hockey so she will come and see them. (It was meant as a snide remark and said in a snide tone... but she never listens apparently). She's says Oh yes we will come and watch them play hockey. Then I made another snide remark about maybe one weekend she could come and see her grandkids instead. NOTHING... not an effing word... she just kept yammering on about how GREAT the "insert sisters family name here" are!

Unfortunately I need her about once a month to look after my kids for 2 days otherwise I would tell her to eff off! I am so sick and tired of being related to those people. My kids I guess aren't good enough for her. If I actually told her how I felt she would turn it all around to be my fault and my problem. So there isn't any point. Instead I just complain to my poor hubby and generally feel like a piece of sh*t when it comes to my family. I hate this crap and I am sad to say I hate that woman. I pray that I never make my kids feel that way about me (I am even hoping that they don't dislike me too much through the teenage years... but that might be a tough one!) The saddest thing is when she is gone one day I think I will feel more relieve than anything, that I don't have to watch what I say and to whom.

I just don't understand how any parent can make their child feel this way. My kids and hubby are the most important thing in my life, I can't imagine every putting anyone before them?

I am sick of crying because of that woman! I am sick of feeling inadequate because of that woman! I am sick of her trying to suck the joy out of my life! I am sick of her telling me she knows what infertility is like! I am sick of her telling me that she is going to will her good stuff to the "insert sisters family name here" grandkids cause my boys probably won't want it anyway. (do what you want I don't want to hear about it!) I am sick of her telling everyone that I took all the good out of her when I was born (apparently I wrecked her teeth and made it so she couldn't have any more kids). I am sick of her sneering at me all the time when she doesn't like what I say. I am sick of the fact that she still gets to me!!!!

Things that I will NEVER forgive her for
- telling me (before I was PG) that she was going to will all her good stuff to "sisters" grandkids" because I didn't have any kids
- telling me (after I had the boys) that she was going to will her good stuff to "sisters" grandkids because the boys won't want it
- telling me (this Christmas) that she was going to will her good stuff to "sisters" grandkids because my kids wouldn't want it anyway. I finally told her I don't care do what ever you want! (what the heck is this woman's problem)
- never having a baby shower because YOU NEVER have them BEFORE baby is born because it will cause something to happen. I never had a baby shower before the boys were born because apparently it would kill them. I told her I wanted one and she went off on me while I was PG and on bed rest
- not helping me for 3 months when I was PG with the boys and barely able to get out of bed at the end to get food. (She would show up if someone from the family did though)
- telling me that she knows exactly what I went through with IVF (as if)
- for telling anyone that would listen that our kids were IVF babies
- for telling some close friends (that I wanted to tell) that we were PG. When we were only 3 weeks PG with the boys. Then having the nerve to tell me that it was THEIR news to share (after 11 effing years of infertility I don't effing think so)
- for never putting my kids first
- for being to busy for my family, but for dropping EVERYTHING and ANYTHING for ANYONE else!
- for taking a necklace my dad bought for me and giving the necklace that my dad bought for her to someone else, then telling me about it. (oh she ended up loosing it anyway, she never has been one for jewelry anyway)
- for always saying BUT.. That's nice - BUT. She does this with everything I have ever made. I quit drawing way back because of this. I drew them a picture of a castle, I wasn't the greatest but I did alright. I was younger, so I used an old frame and made a mat for it. Again it wasn't perfect but I did the best I could. This was probably the best thing I had ever drawn. I gave it to them as a gift. She opened it, said "that's nice, but you could have done better", and put it aside.
- for telling me I ruined their entire holiday when we got back from Disneyland (I am not even sure why?)
- for making every Christmas a sad day. Every year, and for everything there was a fight growing up. She would open ever gift and say " OH that's NICE, but that's not what I wanted" Then her and dad would fight. It used to make me feel so bad.
- and last but not least I will NEVER forgive her for this. My grandmother passed away in Dec 2003. We were in the family room waiting before the memorial service (to which my grandmother wasn't even there as she wasn't cremated yet? WTF), and everyone was getting ready to go in. I asked who I was supposed to go with (apparently Mom wanted to be with her sister, who she hated up until this moment). She sneered at me and said "that's your problem". I had no idea where I was supposed to go or what I was supposed to do, lucky one of my cousins said come and sit with us. I felt like leaving. (I actually had to go to my doctor and get medication just to deal with her and that day, cause I didn't know what I was in for!)

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- see above

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- my kiddos

KIDDO NOTES
OK I want to end this post on a better note as I really need to stop crying before I go to bed. So this should cheer me up. The kiddo's always do! Their hugs are truly the best thing ever. We had a busy day. I finally got to get outside with everyone! We cleared the driveway and played with the kiddo's. Baby was out in her ski suit, which she doesn't like. She has the boys old boots which are a bit big on her. I stood her up and she just stood there and laughed. She wouldn't take a step! It was quite funny! She 'helped' dad plow snow for a while. We have a baby seat attached to the back rack on the quad, so we strapped her and and way she went.

Later on I took our snow blower and cleared a path around the yard (there must be about 2 feet or more of snow) so that the kids could walk around. After dad took out our snowmobile and I finally got to try it out! We don't have a lot of yard but I got to try it out a bit. I wasn't going very fast as my helmet was in the house (oopps) Trust me I was being very careful and going quite slow! I can sure see where it would be quite easy to hurt yourself on one of those things that's for sure! You definitely need to respect them, and ours is an old one with not a lot of power!

Anyway the kiddos hands were cold so it wasn't to difficult to get them into the house. They looked so cute with their red little noses! I don't think baby likes the great out doors to much as she can't move around the way she likes to! :) She does look so cute in her pink snowsuit and hat though!

Boy2 only had one little accident today. It happened when we were outside. Other than that he was busy with the potty. We are still waiting for a poop though, it's been a couple of days (yikes) so I hope he isn't getting all bunged up!

Boy1, doesn't even want to sit on the potty. He screams like a banshee so I don't push it when he is acting that way. It's supposed to be a positive experience so I will give him some time. Training one at a time is quite enough anyway!

Dad has started calling Baby "sweetie Pie". He asked her if she is sweetie pie and she answers "yes". Great she's *cute AND she know it.

*cute - this is not from me, everyone else keeps calling her cute so I am just going with it and assuming it's true. I am the mother so of course I think she is cute! LOL

Good night.... and I leave you with this... cause I think It's kind of cute (I liked the Halo for baby! So far from the truth but I am hoping that if I think it that it may come true! LOL) Sheesh it doesn't all fit... Well I copied it all down to the bottom of my blog too!

Get your own Family Sticker Maker & MySpace Layouts.

#130 - Sleepy!

Well I am tired tonight.  I had a very busy day at work, then home to three crazy kiddos that wanted some mom time!  I am hoping I sleep.  I was up most of last night with the darn pain in my leg, I am hoping tonight that it will not bug me.

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- stupid people that shouldn't be driving.  The idiot that cut me off trying to go from the 2 lane to one lane, then he proceeded to pass the guy in front of him, almost lost it in front of me.  I was kind of hoping he would at least go in the ditch so I could wave on my way by!  What a moron.
- Ok if a store closes at 5:00pm, I try no to show up to shop at 4:55pm.  We had about 20 people to 'get rid of' at 10 after 5.  I do like my job but I really don't want to be there all night! :) 
- Having a house guest that is currently "parked" at my scrapbooking table, and has a pop on the table (even though I have cup holders hanging off the table!  Same guest never turns off the lights after himself either.  Guest and Hubby went out to do some stuff, so I went down to do some scrapbooking.  Well guest arrrives back and gets settled in so I went back upstairs... :(  Oh well I should go to bed anyway

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- scrapbooking
- babies
- my kiddos

KIDDO NOTES
Well Boy2 is really doing well in the potty training department, as far as liquids go, now we just have to hope the solids start coming out.  He has had no 'accidents' in two days, but no solids either!  Boy1 is so not interested.  I have decided the key to potty training is finding the one thing that your child must have.  For Boy2 gummy bears did the trick.  I have NO clue what will motivate Boy1, he did manage to put real underware  on for about 30 seconds today though!

Finally it warmed up enough to take the kiddos outside today, hubby had them out for a while during the day.  They had fun going for a ride on the quad with dad.  We have an old expired baby seat attached to the back rack so one of them will have a spot to ride.  Dad is not allowed to go very fast either or mom will not be happy!  Slow slow slow! :) 

With that I am off to bed!  Good Night!

#129 - Friday already

Well I was going to continue working on the course I am  supposed to teach next week this afternoon.  The one that I have been working on all week until 12:30am.  Well instead of working on it I took a nap!  I got an email that it was canceled due to low enrollment!  Crap!  I really needed the cash after whole accident thing!  My next course isn't until late February so I guess I am going to have to find something else to generate some money!  (I have some contract work so I am going to have to get going on that!)  I am also going to start prepping for the next course I am supposed to teach in Feb so I don't have to rush to get ready for it!    It's hard to get motivated when there is scrapbooking to do!

I actually almost got one page done this morning when I was downstairs with the boys!  I was too busy playing with my Slice (an xmas gift), I cut out a bunch of butterfly's for Baby's scrapbook!  I am working on November of 2007 and hoping to get into 2008 very soon!  Yikes I hate being so behind!  I am impressed that I kept a fairly good journal though so I can write in her book and update her calendar for her first year!  I am working on my second album for her and it starts at 5 months old!  I really have a problem with photo taking! :)  I took over 5,000 photos last year (of course not all of them go into the album, but way to many of them do!)

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- not having a babysitter to go out tonight

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- my part time job.  It's too bad it doesn't make me piles of cash because I love it!!! 

KIDDO NOTES

Well it seems that the way to potty training with Boy2 is through treats!  The only problem is he goes enough to fill the bottom of the potty, gets the gummy bear, then when he is done, it's back to the potty for another one.   I spent most of my time emptying the potty and watching him flush (Thank goodness we have our new septic system!)  I am exhausted just from running back and forth to the bathroom and where ever the potty happened to be.  Baby also managed a #2 in the potty today!  Yey!  (gawd that kid stinks though, so much for smelling like a rose!)  Boy1 is now sitting on the potty instead of screaming so that is good!  Although he went to do his poop business and when I asked him to go on the potty he screamed at me.  Gotta start somewhere though!  Hubby will be kept busy tomorrow when I am at work doing the potty thing!  It was driving him crazy before bed tonight! 

The kids were pretty good today.  Boy1 was the PITA (pain in the arce) today, he likes to boss everyone around and when he wants something he wants it now (I think he taught that to Baby too!).  We had a pretty good day though, not to say that they were all that good, but they weren't all that bad either!  Baby sat with me for a while this evening as we have a house guest and she is afraid of him.  It's nice to get her cuddles!

Anyway I better get my arce to bed as I have to work tomorrow.  Good Night!

#128 - Ouch!

Well it seems as though my tennis elbow is back with a vengeance.  Hauling kiddo's around apparently doesn't help! (I don't think using my mouse on the arm of the chair helps either!)  At least I know that it will go away.  My hubby, who finally went to the Dr today, is in a lot of pain and it may not go away.  He did nerve damage to his leg a while back (almost 2 months ago).  It may be permanent and the Dr. said that there probably isn't anything they can do about it.  If the kids even touch his leg or brush by it he is in agony.  They are trying him on medication and he has to go back in two weeks.  I pray that it heals and that his leg doesn't go numb.  I felt sick when he told me it may not go away.

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- Nasty roads, more snow the last couple of days (although it's not as bad as last Friday when I got in the fender bender!)
- Mornings... I think they will always bug me and Boy2!
- No night out for me and the hubby tomorrow night :(.  We gave our hockey tickets away :(.  My mother (the babysitter) has been complaining how sick she has been for a week.  The sickest ever, she doesn't know what she is going to do (yaddy yaddy ya!)  So anyway I figured she was to sick to baby sit friday night.  (She is going snow mobiling on the weekend though??? Whatever!)  She had the nerve to tell me (the one that hasn't been out with hubby really since before the boys were born) that the hockey team was playing crappy anyway so it probably won't be a good game.  (It wasn't about the game it was about getting the heck out and doing something with my husband you idiot!)

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- I was talking to a lady at work today.  We were comparing ages of kids.  She was saying how busy I must be with twins (she said to me that I bet I was glad I didn't have another set, then I told her that we lost one.  She felt bad,  I told her it was OK.)  She wondered it Twins ran in the family.  I said No, mine were caused due to medical treatments.  She asked me if we did IVF, then she said Oh I hope you don't mind me asking, you don't have to share if you don't want to.  I said yes we did.  She got all ANGRY and said that should be FREE.   It was great to see this poor women all pissed off at our Health Care System for not providing IVF for what she considered a medical problem.  She had never been through IVF or infertility treatments, so I was Impressed.  We need more people that think that way out there!   I have decided that I am not hiding the fact that we went through IVF.  Infertility sucks and if I bump into someone who needs some support at least I have been there done that....
- Friday's!

KIDDO NOTES

Baby was a bit clingy today and full of tears in the morning.  I think it had something to do with her shots yesterday.

Potty training sucks! Today at lunch Boy1 wanted gummy bears.  So I said SURE if you go pee on the potty (he was not happy as he screams if I ask him to try sitting on the potty).  Well Boy2 thought this was a great idea.  So he peed, got his gummy bear, flushed, peed, got his gummy bear, flushed... 4 times in a row (but it was from the same bladder full!  So on the fourth go round I told him he was only getting a gummy bear if he emptied his bladder (cause I am really sure he knows what a bladder is! LOL).  Boy1 sat there and tried and tried but no luck!   We don't give the kids a lot of junk food, and they have barely tried any candy.  So why I didn't think of bribing them with Candy when NOTHING else was working is beyond me.  (stickers or candy... hmmm I think I would like candy myself!)  We will see how it goes tomorrow!  Potty training is truly the worst thing I have ever had to do!!  Ugg!  I suppose I will be happy when we are done though!  Sometimes diapers just seam easier though! 

I think Boy1 said the F word or something like it today.  His train when of the track and he said something that started with an F.  Well he sure didn't learn that from me!  I think hubby is going to have a chat with me!