#164 - It's Friday and the 13th!

Well first I would like to thank everyone for the comments on my new digs! I did want to let you know that I can't take full credit. I borrowed code from several places to create my layout, it was interesting to try to put different components that I liked together though! I want to play with it a bit more and create some more of my own stuff, such as photoshop brushes etc. I did use things I found as a base and built on them from there. It has been fun and I definitely would like to do some more! :)

Today was pretty much run of the mill around here. Not too much exciting... and then the phone rang.

Well it was the call I was dreading for almost a month. It was my mother. She had her I am going to cry voice starting so I knew I was in for it. She started in to me about next week, she is supposed to help when I teach. Oh yes and then she made some comment about how she goes out of her way to help us out all the time, are you effing kidding me. So finally I got really mad and told her that If she isn't interested in her Grandkids that it was her problem. She TOLD me that I should be calling her, but that I am always to busy (imagine that I am busy?). Well when I started saying stuff about her not wanting to check up on the kids she let me have it, and I couldn't do much from there. You see it was her birthday yesterday and I forgot. I did feel like crap for that one, I can't believe I forgot. So anyway she 'got me' I shut down. The worst part is She will think that I didn't phone her on purpose, not that I actually forgot. I won't live this one down ever. I guess I am the b*tch of a daughter she thinks I am after all. Oh boy am I going to pay for this one.

They are coming out tomorrow to drop of valentines presents for the kids (because really life is only about giving gifts for every holiday). Lucky me I am at work! Phew. I am concerned that they are coming out on Sunday to park their snowmobiles here, I pray they don't come as my hubby will be gone all day, so it will could get ugly.

So let me see tomorrow is Valentines day. Of course we aren't going out for supper as we don't deserve it I am sure. Then there is the whole anniversary of my hubby's getting screwed at work, and the delay it caused our first IVF. My parents will come over and be a downer. Then they will probably show up on Sunday to be more of a downer, and my hubby will be gone so I will have to take the brunt of it. Then there is Monday, a holiday day, to which I will have to work all day to get caught up. I just want this weekend to be done.

I was so enjoying my reprieve from my mother. I really need for her to get the eff off my case!

I did have a friend over to make cards tonight. I was planning on getting a bunch of stuff done, but I just wasn't into it after the whole mother thing. I did get a few cute cards done, when I have a chance I will post some pics. I even made my mother a belated b-day card from the kids. Sheesh no wonder I wasn't into it!


THINGS THAT BUG ME
- see above!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- a visit with a friend
- crafting with the kiddos today

KIDDO NOTES
The kiddos weren't in as good as cheer as yesterday. I really needed them to be after the call from the mother. I did manage to keep my calm with them so I was happy with myself as that was a bit difficult, but I knew that they didn't deserve to have a grumpy mom just because of grandma.

Before Grandma called I was downstairs with the kiddos making Valentines cards for Dad. The boys stamped some hearts on some paper I cut out for them. Then they coloured their paper and used my glue runner to glue the pieces on. They love the glue runner! Baby had to join in of course, so she went crazy colouring with the crayons. She did a really good job of 'scribbling' on the page. When the kids were done with the cards it was on to the foam shapes and foam sheets. They loved to pull off the backing and sick the sticky foam shapes on the sheets. Baby was even sticking the shapes down too. I loved watching her chubby short little fingers try to maneuver around to stick the shapes down. She does catch on really quickly though. She was even pulling some of the paper off the back (the paper that covers the sticky stuff) and of course she had to put it into the recycling bucket just like her brothers. It was a great moment with the three of them. I just wish the mother didn't call before we were done as I felt ill after getting off the phone. Not to mention that I don't like fighting in front of my kids.

Why do I let that women get to me like she does?

The boys didn't not want me to make cards tonight. They were quite upset when I went downstairs. It's amazing how quickly they recover though!

I just can't ever imagine treating them like my mother treats me. I sure hope that they never look at me through the same glasses I see my mother.

Well I need to get to bed as I have to work tomorrow.

Good night...

Life is a long lesson in humility. - James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937)

#150 - Halfway to 300!

Ok so I thought the title was funny, not exactly sure why though?  OK so it's late and and I am just silly.

I have been trying to get my thoughts together for some interesting posts on IF and surviving IF but everything is in a jumble so far.  I think I am at the processing stage and possibly at the point in my life where I can finally take that deep breath and just go on.  More on all this later when I get my proverbial crap together!

Today I got another scrapbook page done!  YEY!  At this rate I may get caught up in 20 years! 

I am anxious to start playing with my new version of Adobe Photoshop that I just purchased. (educational discount, yey, shouldn't have purchased, but I did!  LOL)  Maybe I will get to do a few things yet tonight!

Well I still haven't heard from the mother!  I thought it was a good thing, but I have noticed that I tense up everytime the phone rings.  Not good, really need to let go and just take her for what she is. 

THINGS THAT BUG ME
- Rain in January, come on I live in CANADA Mr Weather Maker!  Snow, freezing cold, etc. that's January.  Not rain!  The roads were horrible on the way home from work tonight, but I didn't hit anything so that is good!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
- Baking with the kiddos
- Coming to some realizations about where I am with my feelings about IF (a post on this coming some day I promise!)
- Making it home safely after a bad drive (glad to know that I can still drive on nasty roads without hitting stuff)
- A happy hubby

KIDDO NOTES
Tonight when I went to work I got hugs and kisses from all three. Now that Baby is walking she comes to give me a hug and a kiss, then she natters away.  It is so hard to leave I just want to remember these moments forever.  Her little face smiling at me after I closed the baby gate, her little wave, saying 'goo bye'.  I could just eat her up! 

The kids all helped make some Chocolate Chip Blondie things today!  OMG they are soooo good.  (I didn't have enough butter so I used 1/2 butter and half margarine and I hate nuts so I left them out and put a few more Chocolate chips in).  OMG yummy!  Sheesh I wonder why I am fat!  LOL!  I always put the dry ingredients in a bowl each for the boys to stir and I gave a bowl to baby so she could stir too.  I think she was a little annoyed that I didn't put anything in her bowl (but she would just eat it anyway!)  I had all my igredients on the counter.  The boys stood on one side and I sat Baby on the counter.  They stirred and had a blast and I gave them all some chocolate chips when we were done.  Baby liked those!  These are the moments that I prayed for so long ago when IF was eating me alive.   I am so incredibly lucky to be living my dreams. 

We also spent some time downstairs, we always have to play downstairs too.  (Yey mom gets a bit of scrapbooking in when we are downstairs.)  Now that Baby is not napping in the morning I get a lot less done.  She needs a little more 'help' at things then the boys do.  Today she was angry that I wouldn't let her play on the stairs, I know I am such a bad mom!  Well she was screaming and screaming (great thing she learned from the brothers *sigh*) and just wouldn't shut up.  There was no way I could distract her with toys either.   I wanted to cut some letters for the page I started so I got out my cutting machine, set Baby on the table, let the boys do the cutting and wooola everyone was happy.  It's great that the boys want to help, it accomplishes two things, I spend time with them and I get to work on my scrapbook!  It slows me down when they help but what do I care everybody is happy!

Boy1 was still busy on his phone all day.  When we were done with the Blondies he had to call someone and tell them about what he just did.  It is too funny when he starts his hysterical laughing on the phone!  He is quite the character.

Today was a bit of a Challenge in the morning, who am I kidding it was nasty start to the day!  LOL.  It started with a Boy1 meltdown, then Boy2.  The baking seemed to get everyone back on track again and it gave me some one on one time (sort of) with the boys.  I always try to talk to each of the seperately when we do stuff together to give them each a sense of being a seperate person.  I suppose one day I will find out if it is working or not!

Good Night

#51 - Oh baby what are you doing now?

Today was just another regular day. I did manage to get a new card created today. Christmas was the theme, I borrowed my moms Cuttlebug, so I got to do some cool embossing today (I have embossing templates but no Cuttlebug! LOL

I was planning on getting some stuff done today, but I had no energy, so nap time was for Mom to today.

One of these days I am going to have to take some time and add 'my story' to this blog.

THINGS THAT REALLY TICK ME OFF
- People who drive behind me with their brights on and refuse to turn them off because it's dark outside (well that does happen at night)
- The way they up gas prices based on speculation. It went up crazy today here, because of Hurricane Ike. I think most of the gas here comes from here so I don't get it!

KIDDO NOTES

Baby was busy today. She has learned how to climb up on the Boy1's bed. Boy1 has a pillow, Boy2 doesn't so she likes the pillow bed. I had left the room to go get something and when I came back she was sitting on Boy1's bed smiling away. (Little Turkey). Well of course I had to find out how she got up there so I took her off and let her go (with some protest of course.) She crawls up to the bed, kneels beside it, grabs on with one hand and she lifts her right leg up, still kneeling with the left leg. (The boys have toddler beds so they are low to the ground). Then she keeps grabbing at the bed and get's that second leg up there. Now she is teetering on the edge, she doesn't crawl she but scoots, but she has learned she can't lean back to get on her but so she just keeps wiggling until she is on the bed far enough to sit up. Then off she goes head first into the pillow, complete with giggles of course, then she rolls back and forth and laughs some more. It is quite funny to watch!

Boy1 was all over Boy2's choice of toys today, what Boy2 had Boy1 WANTED NOW! I am amazed I managed to get one card done today for the fighting. Poor Boy2 was getting his butt kicked in the toy department so I had to keep a close eye on Boy1 to make sure he stopped stealing the toys! When they fight the toys go 'away', but sometimes I don't see who had it first so I feel bad that one of them gets punished even though it wasn't his fault. I try my best to keep track though!

#32 - Oh to be fertile and naive.

So I was out the other night and there was a couple of sisters there. Young and having 4 kids each. They were talking about their kids. One of them said that their young daughter said that she was waiting until she was 30 to have kids. Then the Mom and her sister said "who waits that long to have kids, she will learn soon enough".

I suppose that was a bit of a compliment as I am hoping that meant I don't look my age! I am secretly thinking boy you have no idea what it's like when you don't have a choice, when mother nature has other plans for us IF'ers out there.

Oh to be so naive about fertility, to have never been down that road, to have never suffered through months and years of no double lines. Things I dream of! :)

KIDDO NOTES
Well the kids have been so good lately I knew I would be in for it soon! Boy 1 woke up grumpy, but lucky for me the bug up his butt quickly moved to Boy 2 and there it stuck for the rest of the day!

It was one of those days where you are lucky that you didn't pull your hair out. I had to work tonight though so I got a nice break!

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