#346 -from bad to worse!

Well I thought I better call my mother today! I guess I am truly a sucker for punnishment! Well Dad answered as Mom was to upset. So all of a sunddenit went from something one of my friends said to things people have said aout them. That apparently I must have said to someone.

My Dad told me that I was not to talk to anyone about our family issues. (but it's ok for them to tell anyone that will listen that we went through IVF, among other things)

Oh yes and they are afraid to say anything because we may not let them see the kids. Again probably one of moms rantings that I am getting blamed for.

I am just feeling empty inside, I am beyond hurt, and I know that nothing I say will do anything but make the situation worse. Oh yes and I was reminded of everyting that they did for me growing up( I didn't know buying stuff classed one as a good parent).

They always twist things around and make me feel like it's all my fault. I was shaking inside most of the day. I feel like the most horrible daughter ever. I wish I was never born into that family because the pain just keeps getting worse. I feel like a pics of me has been damaged beyond repair.

How do you walk away from your family? Enough is enough I can't take the fact that I get blamed for everything anymore. They are like a cancer that is eating my insides, I just don't know what to do. I don't want to deal with the drama anymore. Why do I feel guilty about hating my parents?

I am so hurt and confused I just don't even want to deal with it.....