Wednesday, October 01, 2008

#69 - Two more days to pack

Holly crap I was tired today!  I have decided not to whine about it though because it's not like I can fix it until I get some sleep! :)

It was a busy day, out in the morning, picking up some stuff for our trip, lunch then home. I managed to have a small nap before starting my laundry. 

It was Rhymes and Storytimes day today.  I managed to go sans twins.  It was nice to get out with Baby although I am not really feeling like I fit in.   I suppose I am just not of the whole 'mommy' mentality, maybe it was the crash course in parenting with twins, maybe it was the years of infertility, maybe I just don't relate as well to other women... maybe it's just me.  I just want to be normal, do things the normal way, I am sick of being different, I am sick of letting Infertility be a part of my life.  I am sick of being sad that I lost the innocence of pg and parenting due to infertility.

- not being just boring old normal
- always being late... i never seem to get going on time these days
- having to much work to do
- stinky diapers
- hang nails
- sad stuff on the news
- kiddos that need a nap
- my singing

- The smell of fresh laundry
- afternoon naps

Just another day at the zoo!  The kids were not so much fun this morning, they usually are horrible after spending a day with grandma, as she lets them do whatever they want.  Yey. Baby was grumpy today as she missed her morning nap due to Rhymes and Storytimes.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better and hopefully I will get some packing done.   


At 2:06 p.m., October 05, 2008, Anonymous The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

Oh, honey. :( I can so relate to not feeling normal, not feeling like I fit with all the other happy mommys! For me it's depression and all that prenatal and post-partum depression robbed me of in the experience of pregnancy and early babyhood. In many ways I feel like I never really was pregnant. I just didn't experience so much of what was going on when I was pregnant and was so unable to enjoy it and marvel at it. I often feel like I don't even know what it's like to be pregnant and probably never will. I think I'm slowly coming to terms with this, though it's definitely cropping up again for me. I hope you find your way to self-acceptance and happiness--I hope I do to. Peace.


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