Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Just Checking In...

Well it has been another week from H E double hockey sticks, compliments of my mother. There is ALWAYS something with HER. (We really need to move!) She screamed at me because I asked her if she could make sure that she closed the baby wipe containers after she has opened them or the wipes will dry out. I am quite sure it was my fault she didn't close them!!!! The hubs and I are contemplating boycotting Xmas with the family this year, but as a friend pointed out it won't matter what I do I will be in trouble. I have never really felt like I 'belonged' at her family functions, no fault of the rest of them. Only recently did I figure out why... HER! I am truly at my wits end and I am so sick to death of her negativity putting a damper on EVERY holiday season that I just want to run screaming for the hills!

So I am not sure now if this PG is kicking the shit out of me or if it's all the added stress from dealing with my mother, or both. I reached the 12 week mark this past Saturday and I am hoping that means a turn around in how I am feeling. I so wanted to enjoy this pg, just a little, but so far it has been very difficult. I am not sure that I am really coping with the loss of the twin very well and to top it off I have been dealing with depression, nausea and I am just miserable most of the time. I don't want to feel so bad any more I just want to be happy and thankful. Maybe my u/s will be just what I need tomorrow. Of course I am scared to death that something will be wrong, I am sure that it will be that way before any u/s I have so I am just trying to accept that.

So on a positive note I am hoping that the new year brings the following:
- a happier moi
- a little enjoyment during this PG
- my mother falls off the planet (OK fat chance of that one, but one can dream right?)
- a move out of the city (more like a hick town! LOL) we currently live in
- twins that can say HI (despite all my efforts they are refusing to learn the word Hi! :) )
- some peace in my life and a whole lot less stress
most importantly
- a healthy baby

Quote of the day
When Christmas bells are ringing
The carols old and true
Of you, dear friend, I'm thinking,
And I send my wish to you.
~ Mrs. W. Baggott ("When Christmas Bells Are Ringing")


At 7:30 a.m., December 20, 2006, Blogger Demeter said...

You are going to start to feel better. I hope your mom doesn't damper your holiday season!

At 11:46 a.m., December 20, 2006, Blogger Lut said...

Most people clash with their MIL, somehow it's worse to clash with your own. No escape!

I hope you make it through the holidays ok.

The ambiguity about your PG is normal I suppose. There's little more you can do that give it time.

At 12:43 p.m., December 20, 2006, Blogger Lisa said...

I hope you get all those things for the new year too!

At 6:39 p.m., December 20, 2006, Blogger Ella said...

I haven't been posting.commenting, but I've been reading. I'm so happy you've made it this far - we're in this together! I think a few days apart even. I share your nervousness and anxiety about this pregnancy and I am rooting for you. I know exactly what you mean about wanting to enjoy a pregnancy but finding it hard. I hope you start to feel better physically and emotinally very soon. Hope the u/s goes well and send an update. Family relationships in general are tough and it sounds like you're handling this all so well. Wishing you all of those things in the new year that you wish for, especially the 2007 healthy baby part.

At 7:36 p.m., December 20, 2006, Blogger My Reality said...

I hope you start to feel better soon. Congrats on 12 weeks!

At 6:36 a.m., December 21, 2006, Blogger Rumour Miller said...

I hope you start feeling better very soon. I hope you find peace with your mother and all things you wish for in 2007.

At 7:44 a.m., December 21, 2006, Anonymous Kimmer said...

I hope that all goes well with your u/s and I hear you loud and clear about mothers.
Good luck, thinking about you, hope you get feeling better soon also!

At 3:26 p.m., December 21, 2006, Blogger Alli said...

Ugh - hope your Mama Drama goes away for the holiday!

I feel your pain about the twin loss. Thinking of you.

At 8:43 p.m., December 21, 2006, Blogger UtRus said...

hey. ok, i just hit 13 weeks and went off the progesterone suppositories. Now, I'm not sure if it't that fact or the timing of entering the 2nd trimester, but the past couple days I have felt like a different person. Nausea way less, mood much improved. Hang in there. The stress of the holidays doesn't help, especially with your recent loss, so go easy on yourself. I predict you will be feeling a lot better soon. hugs

At 6:18 a.m., December 22, 2006, Blogger dawnatello said...

merry christmas regardless of your mom!!

At 9:37 a.m., December 23, 2006, Blogger Barely Sane said...

Just sending you a hug & a Merry Christmas. Hope you have at least a bit of fun.

At 6:53 p.m., December 23, 2006, Blogger the waiting line said...

Happy holidays & happy new year Soralis!


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