The update... (updated!)

Thanks for all the kind comments... you gals & guy rock!

So here is the update...

Aug 28th - purchased drugs, received drugs 2 days later (got all drugs even ones I didn't need yet so that I would have them.. great!)
Sept 5th - Tried to reverse leave (didn't know about benefits being cancelled yet)
Sept 7th - Started Medication
Sept 8th - Mailed receipts for IVF drug reimbursement (now why couldn't I have forgotten about this?)
Sept 11th - Tried to fill prescription - found out benefits were cancelled July 25th. Almost passed out since I had sent in my receipts
Sept 12th - Found out benefits were cancelled while on personal leave
Sept 12th - Found out only field that can't be reversed on our system at work is Leave of absence. Local assistant decided to leave it at that. I insisted that the issue be escalated. Reluctantly local assistant decided to do so. Contacted Local human resources regarding the issue, told to keep her up-to-date, and not to panic yet... (trying not to panic but a lot of cash is involved)
Sept 13th - no update from assistant
Sept 13th - contacted pharmacy, can't help me out since I sent in the forms, managed to get them to wait until the 21st to bill my credit card
Sept 14th - emailed assistant again, no update... I am getting very nervous, seems like I have been dealing with this for months and it's only a few days!! LOL!

So really not much to report other than the fact I am screwed as far as returning the drugs since I already submitted my receipts. The one time in my life I do something on time and it bites me in the arce!

Rambling on about other stuff
Finally starting to work from home, have some more connection hurdles to deal with. For all you technical people out there it seems as though I have a router problem. The guy from the work help desk tells me to just go by a Linksys router they are only $50 bucks (Ya just what I need to do is spend another $50 bucks right now) So if anyone has a newer Linksys router that they want to donate feel free to email me!! LOL!

Did I mention that all of my friends are UBRA-fertile. One of my good friends just found out she is PG. They decided to start trying about 4 months ago (she was even on depo for about 9 years so I thought she may have some issues, not that I wanted her to). So now her and her boyfriend are expecting, she is 5 weeks, they are talking about names already (can you imagine one of us IF'ers doing that?). She is already whining about all her symptoms, even in a whiney voice too. She knows what we have been through and are currently going through and has been so supportive but now that she is PG it seems as though she has forgotten about how difficult things have been for us in the conception department. I am happy for her and wish her the best. I just wish she could stop with whining. Now just isn't a great time for me to have another good friend who happens to be both fertile and PG. I am weary from the years of infertility and I just hope that we can have success (not that I deserve it any more than any of you) and move on to a life with IF in our rear view mirror instead of the windshield.

Update... Happy Friday news!

They can reverse my leave at work! It may take some time and I will loose some vacation as I have to use more of it than I would have liked (no biggy)! I will have benefits coverage for my drugs!!! Yey! I am incredibly happy, it's a wonderful way to start the weekend!



IVF Thoughts
Oh ya I am doing a fresh cycle aren't I? I barely have the time to stress about it, just the money and drug thing LOL!

I am sort of detached right now, I can't believe I am going through another fresh cycle, it's funny how now this is part of my possible procreation steps.
It should be
a)want a baby
b)have copious amounts of baby making s*x
c)get PG
d)have baby.

Instead it is
a)want baby
b)phone clinic, get put on waiting list
c)order drugs (frig up benefits is optional and not recommended!)
d)snort and jab and visits with the cooter cam and the vampires
e)pray a lot
f)visit the doctor a lot
g)get eggs retrieved by doctor
h)husband gives sample
i) eggs and sample mixed together to hopefully create embryos (pray some more)
j)have doctor shoot embryos back in you
k)get a cool picture
l)suffer through 2 weeks of torture
m)pray you get a positive test
n)start over or get a positive test and worry for the next 9 months
o)maybe have a baby.
(The first one is much easier don't ya think and a weeeee bit cheaper!)

Quote of the day
Courage can't see around corners,
but goes around them anyway.
~ Mignon McLaughlin (The Neurotic's Notebook)

I figured this kind of fit the bill for a lot of the IF'ers I know

Warning kids discussed
Wow back to work. Luckily I have wonderful child care at home for my sweet little men. I have been so exhausted that I haven't been able to put all my energy into them lately and I feel incredibly guilty. I am sad to think that I am not with them every moment of every day... it is eating me up that I went back to work partially for my benefits and we all know how that is going. I am usually a person that stresses obsessively over things I can't control but I am trying so very hard not to do this as it cuts into my quality time with the boys.

I also found out that my one little guy is constipated and has been for a while. He went every other day so I figured it was ok but he would scream as they are so big. I figured he was just a "big" kind of guy so I didn't worry. The screaming has been getting worse so I decided to get him checked out. The poor little man apparently when it's that big it means he is constipated. I cried the other night with him when he had a really big one and I feel so awful. I should have taken him to the dr. sooner (if I had I would have found out about my benefits way before the whole benefit fiasco... karma is getting me I guess). We have been working really hard with him to get more water into him so we can get a little bit of softener into him. I feel so bad that he is and has been suffering due to my lack of knowledge. I know I am not the worst mother in the world but that doesn't make me feel any better.

The boys light up my day when it really sucks I really don't know how I made it through all the schtuff before them? Because of them I don't obsess (now we just have to work on de-stressing a little more) about the little things, because of them I get two little smiles that warm my heart every day, because of them I am truly a happier person.

Some day infertility will just be a nasty battle scar that made me the person I am now. I am going to look forward to that day and keep that in the back of my mind.

Take care of yourselves!