My how things have changed...

Well I went for my suppression check u/s today. I guess this thing really getting going, it won't be long now. I wonder when I will actually feel like I am 'on my way' though, still hasn't really sunk in this time.

Anyway back to my title. I went to the U/S clinic that I always go to, since I am out of town from my clinic I get a few things done in the home area before trekking south. Well I went in, they did my u/s, asked a few questions, and said "this has to be to the clinic today right?". Well all be, they must be used to us IVF'ers now as I didn't even have to beg them to get my results to where they need to be as quickly as possible.

Rewind to my first cycle, it seems like a loong time ago but it was only in 04 so really it wasn't that long ago! I remember going in for my U/S a little worried because I new the results had to be into my IVF clinic by the end of day. I explained to the tech that they HAD to be there today, she really wasn't 'getting it' if you know what I mean. So then it lead to 2 stressful days of phone calls between my clinic, & my family doctor to get the paperwork to where it needed to be. (Like I wasn't stressed enough, and I have a really bad track record with lost paperwork... don't we all who have been in the 'system' to long though! Follow-up, follow-up follow-up girls! Trust me on that one!)

The following two cycles there was more begging and pleading too and more calls... well I noticed back in May when I started down this road that it seemed easier. With frozen cycles it's not quite so urgent, and I have seem to have lost my zest for fighting for things to get done. I didn't really take note of it at the time but today I was surprised to know that I really didn't have to say much of anything to get the tech to put a rush on my paperwork. (That being said I haven't heard that my clinic has received it yet so we will just wait and see! :) )

When I first started going to the u/s clinic they hadn't been open for very long so I wondered to myself if I helped 'educate' them in the urgency of these pre-ivf ultra-sounds??? It sounds like they get a few of 'us' through there now, which is kind of sad but at least there is less fighting to get the paperwork to the clinic in a timely manner.

I never thought I would be on a first name basis with all the gals at the u/s clinic I go to!!

IVF Thoughts
Still coasting... since I just found out that I have to go into the office and can't work from home it means that I will probably have to do my first shot in the bathroom at work...... yippee. Oh how far I have come, if this was my first cycle that would have stressed me out for weeks, now it's that whatever attitude. It's gotta be done so I have to deal with it.

So I have my child care lined up for sure now, just have to line-up some accommodations and we will go from there.

I have started with the "OMG it could work" thoughts and the "OMG what am I nuts of course it won't work I will have to do a frozen cycle" thoughts. Of course there is always the "OMG no egg" thoughts and the "No frosties" thoughts to go along with that.

Work and life is keeping me so busy that I am staying pretty stress free so far. (Not that I am convinced that stress has anything to do with a successful cycle since my only successful cycle I have had I was in the deep dark pits of mental hell at that time. Can you believe that I am actually worried that it won't work because I am not in that same frame of mind I was when I had my successful cycle! Just call me SUPER paranoid!)

I should really see if I can get an appt with one of the counselors while I am in the area of my clinic. It may be good to shed some light on this whole IF after a successful cycle... hmm that might just be a plan. It seems other people are better at unraveling my thoughts than I am!

Man are my thoughts all over the place today... I am blaming the drugs for that and this horrible exhaustion I am feeling right now. I am nervous about starting the pu.regon as that usually puts me into an unbelievably tired state. I suppose any day now I will also start worrying about my ER. I am surprised I haven't started obsessing about it already (what happened to my old IVF obsessive ways anyway?). I wonder how I am going to do this time? I am not really sure how I am going to manage taking care of little ones (ya I know boo hoo, you wish you had the same problem... feel free to throw darts) after if I am in as nasty of shape as last time. I haven't really started to worry about that I will just wait and see what happens.

The worst part is when I head off to my clinic I will be cut off from my internet buds (unless of course I can get lucky with my wireless... shhh). I hate that part... I promise I will write my blog while I am away even if I have to publish it all when I get home, but that's at least a week or two away anyway!

So I guess that's my update.

Wishing everyone well