Monday, August 14, 2006

I can feel it coming...

I can feel it coming, the wave. The bad wave the wave of anxiety. It's off a ways but I know it's coming. The lovely cramping comes with it, I guess that means another unsuccessful natural cycle is almost over.

The stress of work and my mother issues is making it worse. I just wish I could divert the wave and make it go away. I know it's coming though so it's time to brace myself. It's time to keep myself safe, insulated from more stress, just for a little while until it passes. I have one thing I have to deal with this week, calling to talk to them at work, and that will hopefully be it.

So now I just wait for the wave... getting PG would have been so much easier! :)

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Thanks for all my comments on my last post. I really appreciate all the kind words from everyone. You ladies are the best! Unfortunately I do not think there is a whole lot I can do about work but hope that it works out for the best in the end. I will keep you all posted on the progress.

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Sorry my blog posts have been so few and far between lately. Trying to keep up reading everyones blogs has slowed down the progess on my own blog. I am just going to have to sleep less I guess! :)


Quote of the day
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
Jay Leno (1950 - ), O Magazine, February 2003

IVF Thoughts
Waiting, worrying, obsessing, wishing, praying, you gals know the drill. We even bought a lottery ticket as there was a big draw, some extra money would be nice!! :)

Warning kids discussed
With the wave coming I hang on to the smiles of my little men. They are the light of my life and make even the bad days better. I am really not looking forward to having to go back to work and being away from them. It brings a tear to my eye to know that I can't be with them every moment. We waited for so long to bring them into our lives, stepping away even for short moments just breaks my heart. I want to watch every moment, see every new discovery, be with them as they grow and change each day. I want to be able to pick them up and hug them every chance I get. I just want to be with them.

14 Comments:

At 7:45 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger GLouise said...

Hi Soralis- glad to see an update! I am eager to see how things work out for your job.

Yes- that lotto money would be nice! Think of all the cycles we could do with the big "powerball" win or something like that :-)

 
At 7:52 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger MoMo said...

Glad to hear from you! Sorry that you can feel the wave coming..but I am such the optomist...until AF actually shows up there is always hope! Thinking of you!!

 
At 9:20 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger DD said...

More than anything, I appreciate how my child reminds me to look at things I haven't looked at in years: how clouds look like spongebob; the inchworm on the plant; the toad that looks like a rock. He reminds me that miracles can and do happen all the time.

 
At 9:45 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Serenity said...

Glad to hear from you too!

No assvice on anything else, just wanted to send you a big cyberHUG right now. Sounds like you could use one.

 
At 10:12 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Samantha said...

Oh, I really hope it's not what you think. They say that being pg sometimes feels like your period, right? Then again, we know our bodies pretty well, don't we?

I will try again to post my work today. I tried last night and for some reason it threw my whole blog out of wack. I had to delete it.

Get some rest . . .if possible. :)

 
At 10:28 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Unknown said...

Good to see an update!

The lottery is a one in a bagillion chance of winning..but it is a chance!! Wouldn't it be nice to win :)

Hugs to you as you go through these struggles.

 
At 1:49 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Barely Sane said...

Hang in there Soralis. Try not to let the anxiety get the better of you. I lived with the same thing for years until it all came to a head with IF. I finally sought help and things are a lot better. Not perfect, but much better.

Yeah, I'd have liked to win that $$. I think we have a 6/49 tix that DH bought... hmmm, I should check the #'s!!!

 
At 3:01 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Demeter said...

I also dread that moment when I would have to go to work and miss my child's precious moments. I hope you take the time to take a big breath and release the anxiety. I can't imagine how it feels to see it coming! And work.. keep us posted. It is worrisome.

 
At 3:31 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Samantha said...

Yeah, not sure what Fashionlover, or whatever her name was, meant. Anyway, thanks for your suggestions. I actually cut and pasted from word. Hmmm. . . I guess I'll keep trying. We'll see.

Am I replying to your posts in the right way? Should I be replying on my blog?

 
At 4:59 p.m., August 15, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We were hoping for the 6/49 too! I certainly do understand the anxiety and hope that you are able to work through it. I agree with Barely Sane and about seeking help and feeling better because of it. Maybe it isn't for everyone, but there is no harm in trying.

 
At 5:42 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

It's good to hear from you Soralis. I am sorry that you are feeling some anxiety again. I hope that things start looking up for you soon. Hugs.

 
At 7:31 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Bea said...

Well, natural cycles are so last century, anyway. Is it really a conception if it's not filled with enough anxiety to explode a small planet? I mean, that wouldn't be fun, surely?

/sarcasm

Bea

 
At 8:21 p.m., August 15, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope you can find a surfboard to help you show that wave who's boss.

xo
Fly

 
At 6:21 a.m., August 16, 2006, Blogger dawnatello said...

twins are great. my spouse is identical and they are still attached by the ambical cord. as a partner one has to realize if you were going to be stranded on a desert island then they might not choose you~~!

ha

i hope you get to relax a little and unwind.....

 

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