Monday, August 14, 2006

I can feel it coming...

I can feel it coming, the wave. The bad wave the wave of anxiety. It's off a ways but I know it's coming. The lovely cramping comes with it, I guess that means another unsuccessful natural cycle is almost over.

The stress of work and my mother issues is making it worse. I just wish I could divert the wave and make it go away. I know it's coming though so it's time to brace myself. It's time to keep myself safe, insulated from more stress, just for a little while until it passes. I have one thing I have to deal with this week, calling to talk to them at work, and that will hopefully be it.

So now I just wait for the wave... getting PG would have been so much easier! :)


Thanks for all my comments on my last post. I really appreciate all the kind words from everyone. You ladies are the best! Unfortunately I do not think there is a whole lot I can do about work but hope that it works out for the best in the end. I will keep you all posted on the progress.


Sorry my blog posts have been so few and far between lately. Trying to keep up reading everyones blogs has slowed down the progess on my own blog. I am just going to have to sleep less I guess! :)

Quote of the day
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
Jay Leno (1950 - ), O Magazine, February 2003

IVF Thoughts
Waiting, worrying, obsessing, wishing, praying, you gals know the drill. We even bought a lottery ticket as there was a big draw, some extra money would be nice!! :)

Warning kids discussed
With the wave coming I hang on to the smiles of my little men. They are the light of my life and make even the bad days better. I am really not looking forward to having to go back to work and being away from them. It brings a tear to my eye to know that I can't be with them every moment. We waited for so long to bring them into our lives, stepping away even for short moments just breaks my heart. I want to watch every moment, see every new discovery, be with them as they grow and change each day. I want to be able to pick them up and hug them every chance I get. I just want to be with them.


At 7:45 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger GLouise said...

Hi Soralis- glad to see an update! I am eager to see how things work out for your job.

Yes- that lotto money would be nice! Think of all the cycles we could do with the big "powerball" win or something like that :-)

At 7:52 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger MoMo said...

Glad to hear from you! Sorry that you can feel the wave coming..but I am such the optomist...until AF actually shows up there is always hope! Thinking of you!!

At 9:20 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger DD said...

More than anything, I appreciate how my child reminds me to look at things I haven't looked at in years: how clouds look like spongebob; the inchworm on the plant; the toad that looks like a rock. He reminds me that miracles can and do happen all the time.

At 9:45 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger serenity said...

Glad to hear from you too!

No assvice on anything else, just wanted to send you a big cyberHUG right now. Sounds like you could use one.

At 10:12 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Samantha said...

Oh, I really hope it's not what you think. They say that being pg sometimes feels like your period, right? Then again, we know our bodies pretty well, don't we?

I will try again to post my work today. I tried last night and for some reason it threw my whole blog out of wack. I had to delete it.

Get some rest . . .if possible. :)

At 10:28 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Good to see an update!

The lottery is a one in a bagillion chance of winning..but it is a chance!! Wouldn't it be nice to win :)

Hugs to you as you go through these struggles.

At 11:30 a.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Beth said...

Glad to see a post! I know the wave of which you speak and it seems to just put a damper on everything you think and do. I love what both you and DD had to say about your little ones - touches my heart.

At 1:49 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Barely Sane said...

Hang in there Soralis. Try not to let the anxiety get the better of you. I lived with the same thing for years until it all came to a head with IF. I finally sought help and things are a lot better. Not perfect, but much better.

Yeah, I'd have liked to win that $$. I think we have a 6/49 tix that DH bought... hmmm, I should check the #'s!!!

At 2:15 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger My Reality said...

Soralis, sorry the wave is coming. It is too bad it couldn't stay away. Here is to hoping you win the lottery, then at least you wouldn't have to deal with the stress of work. If you win really big, perhaps you could start an IVF financing company and charge lower interest rates than banks and credit cards, that way you would have a job, still be making money and spend time with your boys! I will be thinking about you!

At 3:01 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Demeter said...

I also dread that moment when I would have to go to work and miss my child's precious moments. I hope you take the time to take a big breath and release the anxiety. I can't imagine how it feels to see it coming! And work.. keep us posted. It is worrisome.

At 3:31 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Samantha said...

Yeah, not sure what Fashionlover, or whatever her name was, meant. Anyway, thanks for your suggestions. I actually cut and pasted from word. Hmmm. . . I guess I'll keep trying. We'll see.

Am I replying to your posts in the right way? Should I be replying on my blog?

At 4:59 p.m., August 15, 2006, Anonymous Sarah said...

We were hoping for the 6/49 too! I certainly do understand the anxiety and hope that you are able to work through it. I agree with Barely Sane and about seeking help and feeling better because of it. Maybe it isn't for everyone, but there is no harm in trying.

At 5:42 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

It's good to hear from you Soralis. I am sorry that you are feeling some anxiety again. I hope that things start looking up for you soon. Hugs.

At 7:06 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger sube said...

Hang in there, Soralis. And good luck with your work conversation this week.

At 7:31 p.m., August 15, 2006, Blogger Bea said...

Well, natural cycles are so last century, anyway. Is it really a conception if it's not filled with enough anxiety to explode a small planet? I mean, that wouldn't be fun, surely?



At 8:21 p.m., August 15, 2006, Anonymous flygirl said...

Hope you can find a surfboard to help you show that wave who's boss.


At 6:21 a.m., August 16, 2006, Blogger dawnatello said...

twins are great. my spouse is identical and they are still attached by the ambical cord. as a partner one has to realize if you were going to be stranded on a desert island then they might not choose you~~!


i hope you get to relax a little and unwind.....


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