Friday, August 04, 2006

Clinic frustrations

Hey there, well it looks like things may be starting to go the right way in blog land. Stop over and check out Fly's photos. I sure hope we see more of that around here soon!

I would also like to thank Thalia for this interesting post, if I ever get lucky enough to get PG again I will keep this in mind, as the guilt thing has always bothered me. I just hope that some day we all have migrated to kid blogs instead of all these IF blogs. It makes my heart sad that so many are suffering.

Well I had a friend come over last night with her two kids, 3 and 10months old. So she knows about our fertility issues and our recent failed FET. So what does she say, ss her very undisciplined 3 year old terrorizes my house? "Aren't you glad your last cycle didn't work?" Are you freakiing kidding me? I didn't even have a good answer for that one, no quick comeback... just silence, lots of silence. Finally I just said NO I am not glad that it didn't work (eventhough your 3 year old seriously needs some discipline.) The whole time I am thinking that maybe if you followed through on your "no don't do that" maybe, just maybe he may be a little better. Just a hunch but I think the kid has her trained, he whines, she gives in? Pay now or Pay later seems to come to mind? Boy I don't want to be around during the later.

And this is why I have given up on any support from my friends that don't live in my computer! LOL!

IVF Thoughts
I think that I am really getting concerned with my clinic. I called the other day to check to see if they have been getting my paper work (I have had issues before so I thought I would be pro-active) and find out what the waiting list is like. I swear they would do better with trained monkeys than some of the people that answer the phones there. DAH hello you work in a Fertility clinic at least know more than I DO for FRICKS sakes!

So anyway back to my rant. I called left my message and waited for the clinic to call me back. I asked about my paperwork and it just went downhill from there. I wanted to check about my blood test results I told her that they won't have my u/s results yet. So what does she say? We don't have your u/s results... Knock knock anyone home, isn't that what I just said. So I figured I would cut her some slack maybe she didn't hear me correctly. She then said to me that they didn't have my FSH, oh wait maybe we do, but it's from way back in July (hmmm I only cycle once a month and given that it is just August chances are that's not from WAY back?) Then she said that they didn't have my hubbys S/A. I am just about to freak out as I called in May and asked if he needed one since it was scratched off the list I sent them, now we need one? WTF... Then she said if the dr. didn't want them then I guess it doesn't matter? I guess she didn't have a copy of the list. So finally I asked her about my FSH, I wondered what it was. She told me it was 5.7, so now it's been a while since I have been through a fresh cycle and I didn't really know those numbers the last time (newbie, didn't know what the heck I should know about anything back then). So I asked her if that was good, she didn't know. Yes a nurse at the Fertility clinic didn't know what good FSH was. So finally she said I think anything under 7 is OK. (It's pretty bad when dr. google and the girls in blog land know more!)

My next question was about the waiting list... big surprise she didn't know (gosh I hope this was a temp just filling in for the day). So I have no idea where I am in the wait list or when I could possibly get a call for a fresh cycle.

I no longer have any confidence with the clinic. I really am not sure if I really want them to be taking care of my precious eggs and our even more precious embryos. I wish they were not the only clinic around. I am so darn frustrated.

Quote of the day
We all carry around so much pain in our hearts. Love and pain and beauty. They all seem to go together like one little tidy confusing package. It's a messy business, life. It's hard to figure--full of surprises. Some good. Some bad.
Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure, The Big Kiss, 1991

Warning kids discussed
I now live in a gated community. The boys are certainly on the move since they started crawling so for their own safety we have put up the gates!

On another note, less than a month before I go back to work now. I would do anything to be a SAHM. It just seems that everything, living expense wise, keeps going up and going up and our wages don't go up. I live in an oil rich province that is booming, jobs everywhere, yet due to the cost of living we still aren't getting ahead. Did I mention that I live in an oil rich province yet our gasoline is around 5.22 a gallon?

I am Canadian and I am going to be taxed until I die and even when I die! LOL!

Take care


At 1:12 PM, August 04, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Oh my goodness, the nerve of your friend. I have a co-worker that does that. You know those silly emails that show kids getting into things (like paint or something equally as messy) she forwards them on to me with the following sentance: Are you sure you want one of these?!

Um, yes dumbass. She has no children, doesn't want children so I can't really expect her to understand.

I agree with you about your clinic. Is there someone else you could talk to? You would think the nurses would be more in the loop for crying out loud. Sorry you have to deal with that frustration.

At 1:48 PM, August 04, 2006, Blogger Fertility Faux Pas said...

Dealing with an uncooperative clinic is SO frustrating. Perhaps it should be part of their job training to read our blogs. Maybe then they would be a little more knowledgable and empathetic.

So sorry about the comment your friend made. I think you handled it the best way possible...with silence. Nothing more awkward than that. Hopefully that will teach her.

At 1:52 PM, August 04, 2006, Blogger ankaisa said...

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

That clinic really sounds awful! They should know better than that. I hope you get things sorted out or can find another clinic that’s a bit more competent.

At 1:57 PM, August 04, 2006, Anonymous flygirl said...

Your friend needs a slap upside the head!!!!!

I understand about the clinic. It's frustrating isn't it?

Thanks for the good thoughts Soralis. I'm so overwhelmed I don't know what to do with myself!!!

At 2:57 PM, August 04, 2006, Blogger DD said...

Yikes. With the mood I've been in I would have said, "No, I'm still sorry things didn't work out the last time, but I'm even more sorry that things did for you and you don't even appreciate it. Now get the hell out of my house."

I bet a dollar to some donuts I will hear that this weekend...if I let this long-lost friend in my house.

At 7:21 PM, August 04, 2006, Blogger GZ said...

I could almost walk to Canada just for the chance to thwap her a couple of times. So sorry you had to listen to that. People are just....stupid.

Sounds exactly like my SIL and nephew, come to think of it...

At 7:47 PM, August 04, 2006, Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Your friend sounds like a piece of work. I am so sorry that you had to hear that.

What is with that nurse? It sounds like she had no clue what was going on. How frustrating.

Hang in there Soralis. Hugs.

At 8:27 PM, August 04, 2006, Anonymous Lori said...

Why does it sometimes seem like those dealing with infertility are the more well-mannered of society?? It seems we're always biting our tongues and holding back responses to outrageously rude things said to us. Good for you for not bopping her over the head.
Sorry to hear you're getting the run around from your clinic. Maybe the next time you call you'll reach someone who actually knows what's going on.

At 12:32 AM, August 05, 2006, Blogger Lara said...

Hi there! Thanks for your comment on my blog! :) I know all about clinic frustrations as I currently have my own clinic frustrations! (Read todays blog of mine) Ugh! Why do these clinics have to make it so difficult???? Good luck with yours. I need good luck with mine tomorrow or I might be cancelled. Ughhh...

At 2:16 AM, August 05, 2006, Blogger Lut C. said...

You used the long cold stare on her, didn't you. Good for you.
Who in their right mind ever says something like that?

At 5:52 AM, August 05, 2006, Blogger Nico said...

Why on earth do people think that something like that is an appropriate response? I think you handled it just right.

Sorry about your stupid clinic. I do think if we all got together and opened our own we could do a *much* better job!!

At 6:39 AM, August 05, 2006, Blogger Kris said...

I think you handled yourself beautifully. I think I would have just sat there with my jaw hanging open repeating to myself "Must.Not.Punch."

Sorry about your clinic. I don't think I could survive without my on-top-of-it nurse. Could you get assigned a new nurse?

At 6:48 AM, August 05, 2006, Blogger Shazz said...

I'll line up for a slap or two!! Its hard enough we have to go through all this let alone deal with difficult people too.
Hang in there S.

At 10:23 AM, August 05, 2006, Blogger Samantha said...

Thanks Soralis. You've been my one faithful audience member. I esp. need the distraction lately (of a writer's group). I peed on the stick this morning. Negative. I knew it would be. It's just that we tried so darn hard this month. I didn't see how we couldn't be pregnant. But, I again find myself in this Negative place. I just want to stop trying and adopt. Husband isn't on the band wagon yet. :( Thanks for keeping us all up to date on your story. Wishing you all the best always.

I think I deserve some chocolate now. Take care. .

At 11:54 AM, August 05, 2006, Blogger the waiting line said...

I'm sorry your friend made SUCH A STUPID comment. I just don't get it . . . .

I'm also concerned about your clinic. Maybe that nurse is the exception - rather than the rule - there.

At 2:07 PM, August 05, 2006, Blogger sube said...

An insensitive friend and an uncooperative clinic. Banner week, huh? Hang in there.

At 3:23 PM, August 05, 2006, Blogger the_road_less_travelled said...

What a thoughtless thing to say to you. I just don't understand why people don't think before they speak.

Thanks for all the nice thoughts.

At 6:55 PM, August 05, 2006, Blogger My Reality said...

Your friend has some nerve! I think you are one of the most caring, supportive bloggers encouraging all of us along. I hope some people in your real life give you the same kind of support you give all of us. You most certainly deserve it!

I hope your clinic starts being more helpful. I can't believe the nurse didn't know about FSH!

When you go back to work next month, what will you be doing with your boys? I wish I didn't have to work either, I hear you on that one!

At 2:55 AM, August 06, 2006, Blogger Bea said...

Wow. That's straight off my list of stupid things to say to infertile people. This is why I don't like telling people about IVF. It's so much easier to put up with little comments when they're made in IGNORANCE.

Huh. Got myself a little hot and bothered there.


At 4:10 AM, August 06, 2006, Blogger N said...

What a friend you have. Stupid woman. She just could have stayed silent. What is it with stupid comments?

I am sorry to read that you are loosing confidence in your clinic. Have you discussed that fact with your doctor there? Maybe that helps?



At 10:53 AM, August 07, 2006, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

Wow, you would think a friend who has gone through the same thing wouldn't be so careless with her comments. I hope she felt pretty stupid afterwards.
There really are not many clinics outside of Ontario or BC. I am sorry you don't have more options, it sounds like your clinic has some pretty lazy nurses.

At 10:57 AM, August 07, 2006, Blogger me and m said...

I cannot believe she said that!!
I'm apalled!!!
Some people are so incredibly rude and meanhearted.

At 3:07 PM, August 07, 2006, Blogger Angie said...

I completely understand about clinic frustrations. I'm hoping you find a nice place!

At 3:47 PM, August 07, 2006, Blogger Demeter said...

I can't believe how insensitive was your friend about your last IVF. The most painful thing to go through!

To me children are a blessing, no matter what. Now about the FSH in your clinic, they are wrong. Anything under 10 is normal.

At 4:10 PM, August 07, 2006, Blogger Alli said...

I can't believe your friend said that.

Sorry about your clinic struggles!!

At 8:26 PM, August 07, 2006, Anonymous KIMMER said...

Don't get me started on IVF clinics, it's ridiculous the shit you have to go through, I swear I would make a much better RE than some of the RE's I've cycled with.
5.7 kicks freakin bootie! Very good...
I hope that you don't have to wait too long and I'm sorry about your friend's comment. I have post I'm working on along the same lines.
Good luck and may your wait be short!

At 10:12 PM, August 08, 2006, Blogger Maya said...

If it feels "funny" - it probably is. Proceed with caution.

Yah, it is wierd how the support needs shift. I have a quite a few things happen lately. I no longer think..hey can't wait to tell ... I think hey, I can't wait to blog about this.

You all get it very clearly and will not say stupid crap. So, I go where I know I will be fed yummy food. So to speak. :)


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