Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Primary vs. Secondary Infertility...

First I would like to thank My Reality for the kind words over at her blog! I always feel so extra special when one of you gals mentions me on your blog! :)

As for the weather here, it has finally cooled off to a bearable temp. and we have had some rain for our poor grass!

So on to today's post, here is what will hopefully be a somewhat comical view of Primary vs. Secondary infertility.

After 6 months TTC
Primary(P): Oh it will happen, our timing is just off
Secondary(S): 6 months... I don't think so. I phone the fertility clinic to get on the waiting list for a cycle 4 months before I am ready to try again!

After a year TTC
P:Starting to get worried
S:Ya as if I would try for a year on my own to TTC after 10 years of IF!

First IVF Cycle (we skipped IUI's - aren't we lucky? :) )
P:Well it's going to work the first time
S:Fat chance of it working but hopefully there will be some frosties

First failed Cycle
P:Not to happy, but we have some frosties so it will work next time.. right?
S:(in the immortal words of Fly)Well fuckaduck! It worked once before so now I have hope that maybe it may work again

Second failed Cycle
P:devastated... failure is not an option I want to be PG
S:Cry a little then go hold the product(s) of your only successful 'go'

P:No way... don't believe you, better test my blood again. It can't be happening
S:Ya and I believe in the tooth fairy too! (By the way where is my darn cash from my freaking wisdom teeth, ya owe me for 4 you sill beeaaach! :) )

Thoughts on PG
P:OMG I am actually PG, I better worry for a few months, oh finally I feel better, then I go to classes for Multiple births... time to worry for the rest of the PG. Afraid to look at baby stuff, afraid to buy baby stuff, it may jinx the PG you know. Finally by 2 onesies and borrow two cribs, then bedrest and no shopping. Have almost nothing before babies are born. Read a lot, just in case, since you know nothing
S:Well it happened once, does that mean it will happen again? Oh ya and everyone knows that a successful round of IVF cures IF so I am going to get PG soon... right?

Stupid Comments from Stupid people
P:Go home and cry, cut oneself off from the world
S:I have had it with people who don't 'get it'. If you don't 'get it' shut your mouth... I actually have comebacks for some of them now. It's kind of like a game to see how far I can get someone's jaw to drop! Well I might as well have some fun! LOL. (Watch it I bite now)

Baby/PG mother parking
P:I HATE people who park there, I hate that the parking is there... Park as far away as POSSIBLE
S:Still hate the people that park there, oh frig I use them darn stalls now. Crap I am making some other infertile feel like crap... hang my head low and hope no one notices I have twins. (Ya right)

Other people's Baby Showers
P:Ya as if I am going to put myself through that (I applaud all of you out there who do... big hug for the torment you have to endure)
S:Went to one, still felt like crap, not going to another, just going to send a gift

Baby stuff in stores
P:Is there a baby section at Walmart? Never noticed, stay the heck away!!!
S:A frig I have to shop there and now all that crap is in my house!

Baby stuff in my house
P:I don't freaking think so... keep them darn babies out too (unless of course you are infertile then I can deal a little better)
S:Oh My I have a house full of stuff I was 'afraid of'... They grow out of it so fast, now I have to pack it up. Will I ever use it again? Will I jinx myself if I keep it? Should I get rid of it, will that help me get PG? It is overwhelming how quickly you have to pack stuff up... what to do with it as I can't bear to be reminded that I may never have another baby

Thoughts on Secondary Infertility
P:What the heck are they whining about? They got PG once, what I wouldn't do to get PG once. (Ok so now I am paying for that lousy attitude!LOL I feel so guilty now for ever feeling that way... I guess 11 or so years of IF makes ya a little grumpy!)
S:OH now I get it! I GET IT. I GET IT. Please forgive me and let me be PG again... really I do GET IT! :)

The nurses at my IVF clinic
P:Oh I don't need to talk to the dr. a nurse is fine!
S:I want to talk to a dr. you idiot!

Thoughts on my IVF clinic
P:They are so kind and caring
S:Been there done that, been there heard that... frig off and leave me alone (Yup evil and bitter... lol)

Thoughts on trying again
P:Once I get PG it should be easy to have another
S:Still waiting for them monkeys to fly outta my butt! :)

Failed cycles
P:end of the world, devastated, pain, crying, blaming, what am I going to do, I really want this, how can I fix this?, what's wrong with me?, what did I do wrong?, what did I do to deserve this?... you know the rest
S:Hold my son's and be ever so thankful that I was one of the lucky ones, I hit the jackpot... this is bearable this time around. It's not fun but it's bearable

As Forrest Gump would say... that's all I have to say about that

IVF Thoughts
Playing the waiting game... still hoping I won't need a fresh cycle, still hoping I win the IVF lottery again.

Quote of the day
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
George S. Patton (1885 - 1945)

Warning kids discussed
Well yesterday was a busy day. The boys awoke after their naps (mom was at the dentist so Dad was there). Dad went to get #2 up and guess what? He had pulled off his diaper, well this is the kid that ALWAYS has at least a little poo in his diaper. Apparently it was everywhere, on his belly, his back, the crib sheet. (Man was I glad I wasn't home) So what was my first question... did ya get a picture? Nope, no picture, what a shame! LOL

It was also #1's first hair cut. I bought some clippers, you know the ones that look like doggy shears, and away I went. Other than one move at an in appropriate time we did ok. Ya he has a tiny bald spot at the back and bottom of his head, if you comb it just right you can't see it very well though.. phew. I was a little nervous of doing the deed since their first year photos are coming up on the 22nd. I didn't want a big ole mess! But it all went well and everyone is happy, phew. I sat him in the laundry room sink to do the job and he thought it was pretty cool barely even fussed, so I was happy. I thought I may just get part of his head done due to fussiness but we 'got-er-done'!

Take care


At 9:47 a.m., July 12, 2006, Anonymous flygirl said...

Some days it's so hard to laugh. We've got to find humour wherever possible eh?

At 10:10 a.m., July 12, 2006, Blogger Alli said...

Wow - that is an awesome compilation. SO true - it's always amazing and wonderful to realize someone else really gets it, although I wish none of us had to!! {{hugs}}

At 12:37 p.m., July 12, 2006, Blogger DD said...

We are a special lot of characters, aren't we?

At 6:15 p.m., July 12, 2006, Blogger My Reality said...

Great post, you totally cracked me up! It is amazing how infertility changes your perspective. By the way, I am still wearing my bracelet and had several comments on how nice it is!

At 6:46 p.m., July 12, 2006, Blogger Karen said...

I just love your comparisons. They are oh so true. I am amazed at the difference between myself with P-IF and S-IF. It was nice to have my feelings reassured. Thanks!

At 7:02 a.m., July 13, 2006, Blogger Angie said...

Great post!

At 8:21 a.m., July 13, 2006, Blogger MoMo said...

This is a pretty funny way of looking at things...thanks for sharing--I enjoyed it a lot!

At 8:33 a.m., July 13, 2006, Blogger miraclebaby said...

That about sums it up! Thanks for such a thorough glimpse into IF. And the insensitive comments really get to me too... I wish I had the "balls" to comeback, but alas I am chicken.... either that or just afraid I will not be able to stop!

At 9:06 a.m., July 13, 2006, Blogger Ella said...

This cracked me up today. This is exactly what I needed after spending a frustrating morning at my RE's today.

At 11:33 a.m., July 13, 2006, Blogger Demeter said...

Brilliant! It made me laugh so much. It is great you have kept your sense of humour intact, despite of it all!

At 1:42 p.m., July 13, 2006, Blogger Lut C. said...

Comical? You forget us primary IF'ers have NO sense of humour. That's why you like to read our blogs so much.

Erm, right. ;-)

At 12:34 a.m., July 14, 2006, Blogger ankaisa said...

Yes, it is different on the second go. For me it was a bit different as I got pg on my first "real" IVF so I was kinda optimistic when we started to look for that second success. But a lot of it is the same.

At 7:01 a.m., July 14, 2006, Blogger Dream Mommy said...

cute. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

At 8:17 a.m., July 14, 2006, Anonymous Sarah said...

I can't say I know what Secondary IF is like, but you have given a great description. It is funny, our first IVF cycle has worked. Whether or not we will get babies out of it, still undetermined. But I know that we are still infertile and any subsequent family that we wish to have is going to come at great cost and struggle. Thanks for such a great post!

At 9:24 a.m., July 14, 2006, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

I often wondered how feelings differ between primary and secondary IF. A little humor helps it all make sense!

At 12:51 p.m., July 16, 2006, Anonymous Nikole said...

Yes, like Jenny, it helps to have a comparison on what primary v. secondary is like. Thanks for a great post!


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