Still Away

So yes I am still away and anxious to get home and try to catch up with everyone. I am so missing my daily internet fix and wondering how everyone is doing. I am sure hoping to hear some good news from a bunch of you when I get back.

I had some very good news from a friend, a fellow infertile. She was my buddy during my 3rd cycle and we ended up having success together. She was hoping to try another round of IVF when her first was a year. She was told she would never conceive on her own. Well to her surprise 'it' did happen. She is still in shock but very happy. It was kind of bittersweet to open her email and see in big red letters that she was PG. I was happy for her but so very sad that it was her news and not mine. I was supposed to be the one that was PG first. Oh well as I have learned I am not so lucky with that PG thing. But it does give me hope as she is or is that was??? a fellow infertile.

IVF Thoughts

Still wishing I didn't have to be 'here', but don't we all. Wish, hope, pray that we will defy the odds and 'it' will just happen.

Quote of the day

Warning Kids discussed

As I sit here the place I sat just a week after I found out I was PG. Now instead of being PG I watch my boys play. They will be 11 months tomorrow. I still look at them and wonder where they come from. It seems like my PG went by so fast that it never happened. I am so glad I have a few pictures, if it wasn't for the pictures I wouldn't believe that it ever happened. Even thought they sit in front of me I am still in disbelief.. I guess the 10 years of trying has taken it's toll on me.

Our vacation has been a bit difficult on the boys, they have adjusted pretty well but it has been a bit hard on them. They are not there usual selves which has been a bit stressful for me. They are usually very very good but lately they have been crying a lot. Something I haven't heard since the days of colic were done. It's hard when you are out and have a baby that is freaking... oh wait 2 babies that are freaking! Good thing the people were cool with crabby babies. It did put a damper on the fresh lobster dinner though. Ugg haven't seen lobster in a very long time and I have 2 crabby babies to deal with when I do. Oh well that's they way it is when you are a mom I guess, I sure wouldn't trade them for the world!!

Ok so I got to spend time with the SIL this vacation. Now let me start off by saying usually we visit with them and we acknowledge the fact that they live differently than us. They are more on the hill billy side of things and I guess we are the stuff city dweller types. The way they live isn't the way I would want to live but hey if they are happy that's their business... on the other hand they just think we are stupid. I guess having a husband with a job is stupid? I never did get why they take the screens out of their windows to let the bugs out, but whatever it's their business! They are the kind of folks that pretty much destroy everything they touch and we are the kind of folks that take care of it and try to make it last as long as possible. So I think you get a bit of the picture.

Well they came for a visit. (Did I mention she is/was ubra-fertile too... youngest of 4 is 8 years old) The oldest (16) likes to go rooting through Grandmas house, what the heck is that about? We had the boys down for a nap and I asked the one girl (13ish) not to let the door slam as it would wake up 'cranky' baby... so what did she do slam the door. At 13 you would think that she would be past that stuff? Well let me first say that I am a bit paranoid about my boys, I know it's not a good thing but I like to be super careful, guess that's the 10 years of infertility talking. Well Auntie had one of the boys and ripped off a small lobster leg and gave it to him to chew on. Well I wasn't ready to give the boys shellfish just yet because I am afraid of allergies. I figure waiting a bit is better than taking a chance (that and if they have a reaction we are at least a 1/2 hr drive from the nearest hospital). But with SIL you don't say anything as she is right and she doesn't give a hoot what anything else says. I was really nervous as it was a tiny leg and the fella she had has a habit of stuffing everything in his mouth as far as he can get it. I wanted to tell her no but I didn't feel like I could and my stupid hubby didn't say anything to his sister. I was so ticked off, it is my kid not hers. So finally after all this time I had had it with his sister. I was good and kept my darn mouth shut, I think I am missing a chunk off my tongue. The last time they were there we found marbles on the blanket that the boys were playing on!

Well then she started feeding him a really hard cookie that was small enough that he could get the whole thing in his mouth. I told her that we should give him a baby cookie instead but she didn't give a sh*t and just ignored me. I watched him like a hawk as I was afraid he was going to choke. After all that they headed outside. Well it was very windy and the boys have been a little sick the entire time they have been away so Grandma figured they should have hats on. So I got them and out they all went. Well one of them the hat fell off of and SIL told Grandma what ever... I stayed in the house I figured sometimes it's better not to know what is going on. Grandma was with them anyway. I guess they were showing them flowers, I do the same thing but I don't let them eat them. Grandma said she didn't think that letting them have them in their mouth was a good idea, SIL says if they don't like them they won't eat them, she didn't give a crap. Like I said do what you want with your kids but I don't think that's right with someone else's kids. Now I know eventually they will eat a bunch of stuff but when I am around I am going to try to teach them what they should eat vs. what is to look at. One of the boys went outside with his soother and when it popped out they just left it there, we had to go looking for it later. They don't take their shoes off in their house so they don't do it at anyone else's either (personally I don't want the extra cleaning so my boys will not be wearing their shoes in my house). We have a blanket out for the boys to play on as the floor is not carpeted. Stupid BIL comes traipsing in with his boots on... goes in the living room and walks right across the blanket (which wasn't in his way at all). I am quite sure he did it just to prove a point, not sure what the point was but who the heck knows with that idiot. By the time the crew left I was glad to see them go, as was everyone else. I was glad that would be last we saw of them!

Our vacation is almost over... I will be glad to be at home again. I miss my comfy bed! I am tired here as I am not getting enough sleep and I have to do way more here than at home. There is no dishwasher and it seems like that's all we do is eat do dishes feed the boys do more dishes. My hubby has been cutting firewood and keeping busy so I don't have as much help from him and grandma has a bad back. I also miss my bungalow, I am not used to all the stair climbing, even the bathroom is upstairs. Man am I out of shape!! There isn't anywhere really to go for a walk without taking a 1/2hr drive and I don't have an off road stroller for around here so I am pretty much house bound. I guess it's time to go home. I will be sad when I go though as the folks around here aren't getting any younger so you just never know if everyone will be here the next time we get back.

I hope everyone is doing well

Take care