Oh to be young and naive...

So I was out at a card making class last night (stampin up if you are familiar with the company). It was a blast! I was sitting at the young person table though. The gal that was teaching the class had a beautiful new house, got to love the smell of a brand new house. She is also getting married in June. A bunch of the gals knew each other and they were talking about getting married and newlywed stuff. (After almost 12 years of marriage there isn't too much 'new' around here. LOL)

Then the conversation turned to my favorite - babies! Yes then one of the gals said pretty soon there is going to be lots of babies around because we are all going to be pregnant. As I am sitting there in my corner just breathing, praying to god that one or both (prefer both, can't stand the thought of loosing another embryo) of my little ones stuck. Then the thought occurred to me, there was about 5 or 6 of them there, given the odds chances are at least one of them will have problems conceiving. I said a quiet prayer that these gals, which I didn't really know, never NEVER have to go through what I have to have a baby. I remember those days when Pregnancy was considered the 'next step', something that would just happen. I miss those days, especially as I sit here not so patienty waiting during my 2ww.

I realized just how much stronger I was then when I began this journey and just how different I was that these gals. Yes there was a few years between us but not that many. I carry battle scars that will last me a lifetime, that has changed my whole outlook on life over the years. Not that change is a bad thing, just that I am different now.

I just wanted to blurt out 'you never know what life has in store, be strong no matter what' and of course 'fertility is not guaranteed'. Instead I sat quietly in the corner wishing them all the best and hoping that I will be able to experience pregnancy just one more time.

By the way I really enjoyed the card making, it was nice to take my mind of my 2ww for a while.

To answer some questions.
ankaisa wondered - What did the negative embryologist say then? Well it wasn't that she said it wasn't going to work, but she wasn't really positive at all. Maybe it was the nasty look on her face that made me feel uncomfortable. She just wasn't like the gal from Friday who was all positive and bubbly. I asked if it looked ok and she didn't really answer, she seemed annoyed that I even asked a question. She was in a big hurry to get out of there. It was just weird.

Thanks everyone for the wonderful positive thoughts!

FET Thoughts
Ok so the first week was supposed to be easy... I think it would have been much easier if I knew that I still had frosties. I pray that my 'snowflakes' have stuck! I do feel different but I know it's just the nasty drugs playing with my mind! I am praying that Hope and Mother Nature are on my side just one more time!

Quote of the day
"Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence is the key to unlocking our potential."
- Liane Cardes

(Guess that person never went through infertility where strength is a must!! :))

Warning kids discussed
Everyday I look at my boys and pray that soon there will be another sibling (or 2) to join them. The more time I spend with them the more I want another child. I love them so much that I can't imagine not having another. Am I greedy, maybe? But they are children how could someone not want more? I must admit that my life is better since they came around and I have never felt so much joy and never been happier. I am truly lucky and they are each a miracle in a little package.

That's all I have to say today

Take care