Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I am so sick of...

Well yesterday it was snowing, today it is sunny and tomorrow it should be back to 20 degrees Celsius (not bad considering it was 1 degree Celsius when I got up this morning!)

So anyway this is yet another gripe session!

I am so sick of infertility(IF) (aren't we all thought)
I am sick of IVF
I am sick of waiting for treatment
I am sick of waiting during treatment
I am sick of waiting during the waiting during treatment
I am sick of the drugs
I am sick of the headaches from the drugs
I am sick of the wondering if it will work
I am sick of the dreaded 2 week wait
I am sick of the money that leaves my wallet to have a baby (I would rather spend it on a baby)
I am sick of the stupid people comments
I am sick of the waiting (ya that's a biggy for me... and the rest of the IF world too I suppose)
I am sick of the insensitive comments from my mother (she should know better!)
I am sick of doing laundry (just checking to see if you were paying attention still :) )
I am sick of the BFN's (there really should be more BFP's out there for everyone)
I am sick of the frickin statistics (Ok so apparently if each embie has a 33% chance of sticking, if you put 2 in then you have a 60% chance of getting PG... WTF you still only have 33% if you ask me!)
I am sick of having to know more about medical stuff than I should have to
I am sick of waiting for my clinic to return calls (Afternoon only)
I am sick of driving for 4 hours to my clinic
I am sick of driving myself crazy with what if's
I am sick of all the crap that goes with the 2ww (obsessive panty checking - thanks Jenny for reminding me! LOL), wondering about every twinge, etc, etc, etc)
I am sick of non-IF PG women
I am sick of going through IF thoughts on a daily basis
I am sick of planning for the next cycle just in case this one doesn't work
I am sick of the cooter cam
I am sick of HSG's
I am sick of someone else (ie. the dr) being the only one who has a hope in getting me PG
I am sick of being Unexplained, give me a damn answer!
I am sick of the government saying IVF is for 'enhancing fertility' (how the heck do you enhance something that doesn't work)
I am sick of people asking if I went through IVF or IF treatments
I am sick of having no control
I am sick of having IVF induced stress
I am sick of being IF me... I just want to be me
I am sick of being IF (but aren't we all)

I think that about covers it!

WTF is wrong with people? I just had a call from an acquantance, I have blogged or shall I say b*tched about before. Ya she got PG the first month after going off the pill back in December. So anyway she moved away (I was happy about that), I thought that was the last I would hear from her. Freaking calling plans guess who called today! SB (stunned b*tch) called me to yammer on about her 2 year old and her PG. Ya she knows about our IF, I guess since we had success before that means that it doesn't hurt anymore! SB was mad that she got PG, hello you are talking to an IF'er here dumbo! She doesn't know that we are trying again and I sure as heck wasn't going to tell her either. She is 5 months PG and she is just starting to be happy about it, what is wrong with you. If I got PG even after I was "done" I would be so freakin happy cause every baby is a blessing... ubra fertile neighbour got PG for her 6th time (they weren't trying) and she said it wasn't an accident it was just another blessing. I thought that was kind of a cool way of looking at it! Back to SB, after 1/2 hour bitching about how hard PG is and how upset she was that she was PG I just couldn't take it any more and told her I had to go. You would think that given all the long
Uuuugg thanks for letting me unload!

FET Thoughts
Started the progestrone suppositories today... still got to get hubby to 'play' marbles! :) 2 more sleeps until ET! silences on my end that she would have figured that I wasn't really all that interested. Oh ya and guess what she feeds her 2 year old all the time Corn Pops and Eggo's French toast... Gee I wonder why the frig he is hyper all the time, try some fruit and veggies why don't you.

I am still upset by all this I have been crying since she got off the phone. Life just isn't fair sometimes, I know that but why the heck does it still hurt so much?
Then the dreaded 2ww. I would really like to thank Jenny for reminding me how much it sucks! LOL

Quote of the day
"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. "
- Unknown


At 11:51 a.m., May 03, 2006, Blogger Rumour Miller said...

Great list.. especially the waiting one. What a cruel joke to give an impatient infrtility (or vice versa)...

At 3:25 p.m., May 03, 2006, Blogger serenity said...

GREAT GREAT list. I can relate to it 1000%. Hang in there- and good luck!!!

At 3:47 p.m., May 03, 2006, Anonymous Leggy said...

Great list- so very true. Sorry about insensitive friend. Good luck- hope all the embies survive thawing.

At 5:09 p.m., May 03, 2006, Blogger UtRus said...

poo on her. insensitive. but again, unless you've either 1) been there 2) have a good sense of empathy...

hey, i wondered about your post on another blog - how come you had to have a catheter? was it when you delivered the twinz?

At 7:20 p.m., May 03, 2006, Blogger Demeter said...

I would add to the list a couple of ones for the REs who have no answers for IF issues:
"know it all REs" don't know F'all
They tell you, you have a 3% chance of getting pregnant, but when you do they cannot explain why?? Etc... Don't let me keep going. And the Government? All of us Canucks should write to our MPs to make IF a medical condition.
Hang in there sweetie, you will find the strength inside you!

At 10:49 p.m., May 03, 2006, Blogger soralis said...

Thanks gals!

Utrus - ya had a catheter for my delivery (3 actually). It was extreemly painful trying to get it in with two babes in there. (Why can't they wait until the spinal kicks in?) I wanted to scream it hurt so bad. My dr. also nicked my bladder so I had the darn thing in for 12 days. Not much fun but it was a big bag so I didn't have to get up in the night to pee... that was great, and one has to look on the bright side! (P.S. If you ever need a catheter get an OB to put it in they are much better at it than the nurses! :) ) Oh ya and the looser friend, ya she's been there (according to her anyway)

demeter - ya I wrote a letter to my MP, a lot of good that did! I don't think they care what we have to say

At 5:00 a.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Angie said...

People just don't understand unless they're going through it! Sorry.

At 7:30 a.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Sunny Jenny said...

That's one of my favorite quotes! But maybe it should read.."You can't begin a journey until you wait around a lot."

At 8:32 a.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Sarah said...

Insensitive B*tch!

People who haven't gone through it just don't get it. I wish that I could pass out pamphlets with instructions about what is OK and what is not to all the people that we might encounter! I don't think that people intend to hurt us, but I just think they don't get it. Good luck and keep us posted!

At 8:46 a.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Alli said...

Loved the list - positive thoughts sent your way for the upcoming treatments!!

At 9:00 a.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Kimmer said...

I think I could have written your post myself. Understand your "sick of list" totally. It sucks! And sorry about your inconsiderate friend. Good luck with the upcoming transfer.

At 11:12 a.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Beagle said...

I concur.
I am so sick of . . .

At 11:58 a.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Barely Sane said...

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.

Yup, it ALL sucks. And it's all very tiring. And hearing someone say they are not happy about a pg sends me over the edge. Bloody hell.

Good luck with ur transfer tomorrow!!!

At 12:25 p.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Dream Mommy said...

I'm sick of it all too!

At 1:22 p.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Em said...

Non IF pregnant women irritate me as well. So unfair!

At 3:07 p.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger One Mother's Journey said...

Mmm Corn Pops. I haven't thought about Corn Pops in years!

Great list. Hang in there.

At 7:43 p.m., May 04, 2006, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

Uh Oh, am I being a bugger? Good! Misery loves company! I'm teasing of course. I can't wait to hear how the transfer goes. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow (in between thinking - I am I pregnant). 2ww, ahhhh, what fun.

At 2:32 p.m., May 05, 2006, Anonymous amy said...

Life isn't fair. My seventh grade math teacher was right. My heart goes out to you. I hope that your waiting is over soon.

At 8:04 p.m., May 18, 2006, Blogger super Project* said...

The Journey is tuff but you have to be positive, I'm going tru the same. Supportive partner and no negative thinking is the best.
Good LUCK.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home