Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Could this be a sign?

I guess I am superstitious or something? I wish I wasn't but I guess I am. I have this plant that bloomed on the day of my HSG. Only one bloom but a bloom it is. So could this mean we may have a successful FET with one baby? Hmm I wonder? So where does this weirdness come from you ask. Well it's a bit of a long story so here goes. (Good thing you can't see the dust on my poor plant)

When we started out first IVF cycle way back we went to an info session in November and we were going to sign up for our first cycle in December. Well it ended up that my Grandmother had a fall and was put in the hospital for rehab, which ended up leading to an even worse fall (Broken arm and the staff ignored it... but I won't go there). Anyway it eventually lead to her death. It was very sad and she was about the only one in my family that I was close to. Needless to say it meant that we decided to wait to sign up for an IVF cycle. We went through our first cycle the following June, as you know if you read the rest of my blog it failed. So back to the plant thing.

My grandmother had a plant holder on her kitchen table for as long as I remember. It always had beautiful African Violets in it in her younger years. My mom gave me the planter and I planted a Christmas Cactus that I had for years in it. The plant had NEVER bloomed in all the years I had it. I moved the plant into it's new container after our second failed transfer in September. We went for our third transfer in December, we had our PG test 2 days after the year anniversary of my grandmothers death. The day of her anniversary there was three blooms ready to come out and the day of my PG test there was 2 blooms (the third one never came out). (I had 3 embies transferred). I had a positive PG test only to find out in Jan that there was twins on board. Every time I got really worried during my PG the plant would bloom again... 2 blooms.

And on the day of my HSG when I am already starting to freak out that my next FET won't work and there it was one bloom on the plant. I am hoping that my grandmother is trying to send me a message? But I am not sure if I believe in those things or is it just some weird coincidence? Maybe all of a sudden I have a green thumb, who knows! I guess all I can do is hold on to the hope that there is another baby in our future.

So that's just my weirdness for the day.

FET Thoughts
As much as I want to be positive I am so terrified that the next FET will not work. I don't know how I will ever be able to look at another PG women if we do not have success. I am just glad now that the HSG is over with. It was yet another nasty one with lots of spotting after (which I have never had before). I also didn't have pain after with my previous two but after this one I haven't been feeling to well. At least the cramping has finally stopped. It is weird that the first two were exactly the same and this one was different. Oh well at least everything looked great.

I have decided that I have an explanation for my IF since the dr.'s can't seem to find it. They had to 'dilate' my cervix during my HSG. I am sure now that I can't get PG as my cervix is tighter than .... well you fill it in. I have decided that this is my problem and I am going to stick with that for now!! lol. Nothing like self diagnosis!

Quote of the day
"Anything can happen to me tomorrow, but at least nothing more can happen to me yesterday."
- Unknown

Warning Kids discussed
Well I found out why deep snow sucks yesterday! I took my boys to be weighed (they were 8 months old yesterday). I loaded them up in their car seats then clipped them into the stroller and off I went. I decided to walk over most of the walks were clear so it wasn't too bad. Then I hit the snowy parking lot which has not been cleared. Boy did I get a work out. I wasn't sure how or if I was going to make it through, it was a major push, but I made it. Now I am hoping all the snow melts soon so I can get out for more walks. I really want to try to loose a little weight before my next FET and I don't really want to diet right now.

Every day I look at my boys and realize just how lucky I am. They are more fun every day, the more interactive they get the more amazing they are. I didn't think that they could get any more amazing but they do. I love them dearly and when I look at them it makes me want to have another one or in a perfect world I would love another set of twins. I must be crazy, I don't think a second set would make life very easy but I never knew how much I would love to be a mom! I never thought I would be so sad that I have infertility issues as I was before the boys. It is amazing how different things in your life change your perspective.

May all your dreams be realized and if you suffer from IF may your journey to parenthood be a short one.


At 10:30 a.m., March 22, 2006, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

No weirder than thinking I will get pg because my bellybutton ring keeps falling out.
Actually, your "sign" has some historical proof - it worked once before. Anytime we can find hope or comfort, it's a good thing.

I know it's way after the fact, but I am sorry about your Grandma.

At 1:30 p.m., March 22, 2006, Blogger UtRus said...

that is freaky cool about the blooms on the plant. i tend to pay attention to these things even thought i kinda try not to :)

I have to say, I am impressed that you want another baby with twins who are only 8 months and that you feel you could even deal with another pair of twins! wow. i am terrified to even have twins... thinking one would be quite a challenge. you must be an AMAZING mom.

may your FET result in a bloom!!

At 3:16 p.m., March 22, 2006, Blogger Flygirl said...

How cool is that! Just so you know, my Christmas Cactus is in full bloom. Maybe it's joining with yours. :)

BTW, I bled hard for 6 days after my HSG. That part was worse than the actual procedure and the procedure was no picnic!

At 6:18 p.m., March 22, 2006, Anonymous Lori said...

What a beautiful sign. I'm usually not much for signs but I think this is as good as they get. I hope it proves true once again.


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